Mets brass couldn’t sign fast enough once Yahoo! assured them that this was just “the tip of the pyramid” for their new relationship.

“Rays! Padres! It’s October baseball!”

Wilbur Ross was kind to chime in that, in the event of a shutdown, players could just get payday loans.  And maybe get a paper route and mow lawns.

He reportedly told his mother that if she had a problem, she could meet him in Temecula 

Paying with cash and he used his legal name?  Rookie move.

The Knicks will trade him for Lonzo Ball.

“I'm sorry, Adult Mode has been disabled. Please say your passcode.”

I massaged Assman for comment

He likely saw that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer accidentally gets a Proctologist’s vanity plate and said “YES! That’s it!”

David Assman, pronounced OSS-man 

Elliot Abrams is one of biggest monsters that walks free on this Earth.  We are an evil nation to make him part of our government.   Thank you Rep. Omar for this.   She’s braver than anyone else in Congress.  

a cool thing kinja sites are doing now is snapping back to the top of the page after i’ve scrolled down to the portion i wish to actually read. very helpful

The answer, as always, is clear:

Theory No. 7: Would-be fans spend 97% of their disposable income on mirrored Oakleys, Jimmy Buffet paraphernalia, Valtrex and stickers of Calvin pissing on things.

Idiot republicans have unlimited gall calling anyone a “snowflake”. They are rude, selfish brats and should be put in a very long time out.

Luckily after these two incidents the Panthers instituted safety policies that ensured that stray pucks would only ever hit empty seats.

Looks like the experts were right when they said Hunt would never play another meaningful game in the NFL.

In this case, “unsportsmanlike conduct” is cover for “Dude, we can’t afford to replace that ball, and we only have this stadium until 7pm!”

I find it hard to believe that Gase couldn’t foresee how this has the potential to be a powder keg.