He loves being around seamen. 

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!

Seems like they should just sign the team over to Greta and be done with it.  

The carpet should match the coach:

I really don’t understand why fans and the media are so negative about this team. Sure, it’s a bit of a rough patch but it’s a good collection of talent and smart coaches who just need to get things pointed in the right direction.

We have always been at war with Weastasia. 

HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT AFTER 9/11!

He was just pissed that they didn’t use one of his North Korean Summit Coins.

We’re not giving details out of respect for his family’s privacy. Thanks for understanding.

What happened?  I am asking as a concerned reader and not because I have Photoshop ideas.

The first 69 Gronk doesn’t like

Christ.

I know it’s just an intern who typed it, but I like to imagine it’s the entire organization owning Darren Rovell. And that brings me so much joy.

Conservative 1: “There are 330 million people in America. These three dudes are the best we could come up with, and the latest alternative was the terrible lady on the end.”

HMMMMMMM ....If only there were a player out there that’s currently unsigned who would keep them in contention for a playoff spot and be a vast improvement over 99% of the backup QBs in the league right now.  It’s just such a shame that no such player is available.  I’m talking, of course, about Nathan Peterman

“Ponder this...what great marriages have is sexual variety! Period! It’s not the equal burden-sharing at home trend, it’s not the fidelity trend. Find someone that is going to let me have unprotected, random sex! Period! #monogamysucks!”

“My fiancée has informed me that sheez letting me go. #thankstwitter!”

FLYNN FLIPPED, BABY!

Nice! I say their first three games are played against the Canadiens to see who really won the 1919 Stanley Cup. Influenza be damned!

Start printing 24th-man jerseys and banners...

I just don’t understand why they’d do this. Why would they give such a tacit endorsement to the racism and white grievance culture that this represents? I appreciate that these invitations are traditional and everything but I really thought Trump would draw the line somewhere.