Have they had a QB since Bernie Kosar? 

This ruckus in Buffalo is severely lacking in tables, chokeslams, and dildos. 

He illegally went to an island KNOWING it was illegal and how that island operates and he could die and did it anyway. Let that be a lesson to anyone else who wants to fuck with people who DO NOT WANT TO BE FUCKED WITH.

5 grand buys about a picosecond’s worth of ad time on an MLB broadcast.  It’s hilarious how much bad press it buys MLB.

Gus Johnson is trash. Regardless of his shameless humping of bullshit redemption narratives, his hyperactive ferret on angel dust routine has always been awful.

Hell has another angel.

word

“Reggie Jackson...is a Hall of Famer and universally beloved.” 

This should be a tournament bracket. Deadspin hasn’t done one of those in years.

Some fun facts:

As an atheist:

Why do Republicans hate successful women so much?

ftfy

“This is the point in the interview at which most rational human beings would turn the TV off, because it’s simply not credible.”

Are the 3-D glasses distributed at the park, or do we need to bring them from home?

My (probably undue) fear is that he loses by a slight margin and declares himself the winner, and then we enter the authoritarian phase of American history.

Oh, snap.

My Joe Theismann avatar’s leg keeps glitching.

If steam isn’t coming out of Gruden’s ears by the end of the year I’m done with Raiders coverage as much as those players are done with the Raiders.