I was once shitting in a Walmart and witnessed a much better use for a cell phone in a stall. An employee began taking a deuce next to me and began playing extremely loud rap music over the speakers. It was genius. No bodily sounds, no talking possibilities. 

Ben Simmons went to LSU. I went to LSU. Maybe she just has a thing for LSU guys?? 

Sadly, I watched the video of the beginning of her protest. The first two cops on the scene restored my faith in the NYPD. 

I love how schizophrenic Jalop is when it comes to 911s. There are two reviews for the 991.2 GTS: one states that it’s boring, the other it’s nearly perfect.

Ferraris don’t even come with cruise control standard. 

Adventurine Green! Then get a matching 993. 

The first time I drove my Cayenne at night I realized it didn’t have dimming rear-view mirrors. Those were standard in my 2004 F150 Lariat. 

I’ll bet you can touch $200k after checking all packages

So 95% of the population should just drive Camrys then? 

Elio’s got a factory. Not much else, though. 

Came here to say the same. I loathe my V6. Mostly because when it gets over-filled, the dust is impossible to get out of the northern reaches of the canister. Not to mention it can’t even pick up small leaves. I told my wife I was buying a $500 V10 Absolute as our joint Christmas present. She hates me.

Came here to say the same. I loathe my V6. Mostly because when it gets over-filled, the dust is impossible to get…

I once worked for a guy worth 9 figures. It was a mystery to me why he drove a cream-colored Grand Marquis until I borrowed it one day. The way that car handled horrible Louisiana roads made me as giddy as someone driving a Ferrari for the first time.

Ben what’s your barstool username 

There’s a scene in the timeless hit HBO dramedy, Entourage, wherein the main characters buy a Rolls Royce Phantom only to soon realize they “look like dickheads in this thing.”

That’s what I take solace in: No one else can pull this off. Say what you will about Trump, but his ability to shrug off scandals that would end careers is amazing. And he does it nearly every week. When Lindsay Graham, Don Jr., Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, etc. inevitably try this shtick after Don’s heart gives out on…

It’s Drew freakin’ Brees. Benjamin Watson is 137 years old and he’s catching touchdowns. If Dez can run down the field with his hands out he’ll be fine.

I think the Portofino is the prettiest car in its class. If you squint there’s a good bit of 550/575 in that greenhouse shape (and the door handles).

Bentayga, Urus, and Cayenne Turbo all have 4.0L twin-turbo V8s. I have no idea what differentiates the power plants other than a few HP one way or the other. 

My issue with the Bentayga is that it uses yesterday’s infotainment. If I’m spending $180k on an SUV I want to feel like I’m driving the dang future.

Yeah, can we get Tamron back? That was a good hour of teevee. Also would like to see she and Willie Geist become the main duo on the Today Show, but I’ll settle for having her back at the 9am slot.