WHEN DO I GET TO SEE THE GODDAMN SAILBOAT?!

This is a little wild, and hear me out, because it’s a little complex: porn stars are human beings and have the right to refuse sex the same as any other person in any other industry

I loved Solo, I loved TLJ, I love Star Wars. I’ll watch whatever new content there is to watch. But Solo should be coming out in three months, not four months ago. Marvel caught lightning in a bottle. Star Wars should have never tried to do the same.

Might want to wait and see how Episode IX does before saying that. Solo was a clusterfuck of a train wreck of a garbage fire, with directors fired midway through and an unknown actor hired to step into the shoes of Harrison Ford to tell a story nobody was asking for. Saying that it performed badly because people…

Did I just say this line out loud in my Carson impression? You’re damn right I did.

When asked if Chevy should succeed him on The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson famously opined “Chevy Chase couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.”

tl;dr- technically too long to read

Except he was more of a recurring character than a cameo, so that doesn’t count by the rules that I’ve just now made up right now.

They made basically this exact joke in the article 

I am a huge Star Wars fan.

One of the benefits of legalized weed is that the criminals are too stoned to be competent.

Season records for new coaches in 2001
Lions: 2-14, Bills: 3-13, Chiefs: 6-10, Browns: 7-9, Skins: 8-8, Jets: 10-6

3-13, 8-8, 7-9, 2-14, 6-10, and 10-6 with a first round playoff loss. But that 10-6 was the Jets and included them injuring Bledsoe and giving Brady his shot, and I assume in retrospect they’d rather have gone 0-16.

Jeez, she’s really milking this. She briefly worked alongside someone who committed a crime, who was punished for that crime with time in prison. Nothing happened to her, she was never in any real danger, her life is exactly the same now as it was before.

He’ll be okay. For some reason, the Idiot Mute community tends to not be very vocal.

The Ewoks tried to eat Han too.

Well that was a deflating reply.

We were in New Orleans that day. I was watching the game with no rooting interest and as the Vikings blew that lead I thought "I hope Drew is ok." Then, after THAT PLAY I thought "I hope Drew is ok."

ambulatory horrorshow Tom Savage

Drew, I really hope that (DIGGS) you keep up this style of coverage of the Saints all season (SIDELINE) long. As a fellow long-suffering Vikings fan (TOUCHDOWN) I’m happy with this (UNBELIEVABLE) and want it to continue.