Go to the gift table, leave a card saying “What a beautiful day! I hope you enjoy the gift!”, then take half a dozen cards off their gifts, and scatter them.

I fucking love shopping online. Trying on clothes and shoes in the privacy of my own home with everything I already own? Hell yes. Why would anyone shop in a store?

Of course they don’t turn into cameras.

You’re close:

It’s also the reason you button your jacket while standing/walking...

i bet she types the same way on a keyboard.

Read it again. Ferrari had to authorize this, by the nature of the tool. Also, I may be working for CNN, because Wolf Blitzer just asked me to pick up his dry cleaning and get him a bottle of Cutty Sark for the train ride home.

Well, considering that rolling back the odometer is never legal, and yet the Ferrari diagnostic machine apparently has a function specifically intended to do so, yes they absolutely did allow it.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

You can stand under a steamy shower for days, however, and never run out of hot water, which makes it the best place in the world in my opinion. Additionally, while they believe in hill trolls they don’t actually elect them to the highest offices in the land.

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

“Buy Ivanka’s stuuuuuuuuuuff”

Smoking puts you at higher risk of heart disease. The only thing that kills more of us in this age group is car accidents (and other accidental deaths).

Smoking is a contributing factor to heart disease. It doesn’t just cause cancer.

Only accidents (car and others) cause more deaths of white males between the ages of 35-44 than heart disease.

World of Tanks streamer Brian “Poshybrid” Vigneault died from unknown causes on February 19 after streaming for 22 hours. He was 35.

Breitbart didn’t need sources. He just made shit up. Then God killed him, proving that using sources is the better way to go.

Wait until you are 65, have 60% of a social security check, and a voucher for the immediate clinic as your health insurance. Then, read that comment back to yourself