And my Japanese car has it on the right, so that theory goes straight out the window.

Whilst the filler is on the proper side, the right side, on my Mazda5, they do something that drives me buggy. Why on earth do I need to pull a little lever to release the cover to the gas cap? Maybe it’s a holdover from the days before central locking, but I wish they would do like the various BMWs and MBs that I had…

A few months back I was looking at some news from my old home town and spotted a picture of my ex. She wasn’t exactly a small girl lo those many years ago, but boy, she’s gotten wiiiiiiiiiide...

That might be OK if she’s 7'2"...

I liked the looks of the Corrado but was never impressed with the G60. When the SLC came out I went for a test drive and fell in love, thinking this was the car I could keep forever.

The first name of one of my customers is Lebaron.

Since the heart shape is based on the human posterior, perhaps a better analogy would be how much human-produced methane is necessary to power the average car.

Years ago, whilst playing The Sims, I needed a name for my character. TG was on, so the character was named Oliver Hammond.

Didn’t click. Won’t.

My first Nokia was the fancy 7110. A few years after buying it I was at another job when somebody spotted my once top-of-the-line phone. “Cool retro phone!” they said. Ouch.

Can we get one of these, in qualifying trim, on this dyno and find out how much it really makes?

When I had the tinting done on the E34, the tint shop couldn’t get a good fit of the material around those damn dots and I complained. They said it was not possible, yet the BMW dealer up the road had cars on the floor that didn’t have this problem. No fix.

And one local restaurant near me wouldn’t even add Mac sauce (or shredded lettuce) even though I offered to pay. They won’t take my coupons from their app, wanting to charge me a dollar more because of their 2 for $5 deal. This same store said I couldn’t consume my own bottled water in the store; I’d drink their…

I’ve got some great memories of driving around in a dark blue LX 5.0 notch back in the ‘80s, the same time the CHP drove them. We’d get on the road, storm up the left lane, and everybody would slow down and move to the right. No traffic ever. The only thing we had to worry about was actual CHP officers in their 5.0s,…

Whenever I see #MAGA, the first thing that comes to mind is Krav Maga, which, if sitcoms have taught me anything, can be summed up as fighting based on a swift kick to the plums. Yeah, sounds about right...

Finally, a possible replacement for my beloved Mazda5; she’ll be 10 years old by the time this thing rolls out. Perhaps by then I’ll have forgiven VW for the last few of their products I owned (back in the ‘80s - some things I don’t forget...)

CP, albeit quite reluctantly. In years of trying I have yet to experience a good MB manual transmission linkage. I love the W124 series - there really isn’t a bad one in the bunch - but a shifter that feels like moving a broomstick through a bucket of ice is not my idea of fun. Find an E34 with a manual, like I did,…

When stuck in LA traffic twice a day every day, fast is irrelevant.

According to http://magnum-mania.com/Articles/The_Ferrari.html it was supposed to be a 928 (not that a fan site is the ultimate in accuracy, but this one’s been pretty good). They wanted one with an extra large sunroof for aerial shots, but Porsche stuck to their policy of not doing special customer requests. You’d…

And to tie it all together, the sports car in Magnum p.i. was supposed to be a 928 (notice all the VAG products on that show? Vanagons and Audi 5000s of various vintages as well as Rabbit convertibles, amongst others) but Porsche had a ‘no custom vehicles’ policy. They needed something modified because of Tom…