Try mixing powdered sugar with juice from a lime and its zest (or orange, or lemon). You can vary the ratio to suit how runny you want it to be (dip vs. spread), and how hard it will get.  It produces a nice glossy sheen, and at least it has some !@#%ing flavor.

I legitimately read that headline to mean that these moms were going to be starring in a porn that their children would then watch. While still horrifying, the truth is far, far less appalling. 

These Jewelry experts have such widely different values for JLo’s ring I think they might have, could have , mostly probably, maybe ….. Been fooled by the rock that she got.

My dad, my sister, and I always watched Jeopardy religiously. We had a thing where when they announced the final category, we would try to guess what the answer would be. When I went to college in New York, Jeopardy was on half an hour earlier than it was at home, so I would call my sister and tell her the answer so…

I told a small lie on a resume that then became a complicated lie.

Most of these aren’t the awards ceremony red carpet looks. The different backgrounds are a clue; most of the photos you have here aren’t their final looks. Glenn Close wore an Alexander McQueen gown, for example.

I was visiting friends in the Bay area and took the BART into SF in the middle of the day. I was aware of its rep for crazies, but I ride public transit in Chicago all the time, so I’m not easily intimidated. At S. San Francisco, a disheveled man with a large shopping cart boarded and sat behind me. After a stop or…

To all the masturbation stories - when I lived in New York I was on the train at 3 or 4 AM coming home from some party and a male-female couple were seated right across from me, rubbing each other out (I think she was working over the pants but he went under the jeans). Not fun but not that notable except that she was…

Well, I’m sure I am someone else’s Trimet horror story. I was carless and had to pick up my cat from the vet, so I packed him up in a little carrier and got on the 17 to go home. I thought nothing of it until I was halfway there, when I felt some weird ...WARMTH spreading across my lap. Turns out my cat, in his sad,…

I was sitting across from an older gentleman with a viking hat on who was eating dried rice from a bag. A rude adolescent at the time, I couldn’t help but watch him, mouth ajar, since we were sitting parallel. He looked me dead in the eye and spit a combination of rice and mucous across the row and into my mouth.

1. At the entrance to Modelland, you must receive a hideously unflattering haircut. Actual entrance to the park is limited to people who can pretend they like it. Bonus points will be given for tragic backstory, but only the right kind of tragic backstory. If you were homeless because your parents didn’t recognize…

RIP, James Ingram. I will remember you always for your duet with Linda Ronstadt on the soundtrack for “An American Tail.”

I am just glad she made a song for the dwarves. the mortal men and the elves had their fun, but nobody thinks of them.

Is...is that a picture of faux lesbian Russian pop duo t.A.T.u? I can’t hate - they had some jams.

Now I’m imagining Bezos sending Sanchez a regular selfie of his face and her friends go “OMG WHO SENT YOU A DICK PIC!!!!!!???!?!"

More of a sloppy New Year’s Day. Woke up hungover on my guy’s futon at 6 AM. We all needed breakfast. I drive in a haze and get McDonald’s drive through. The lady gave me a dirty look and I figured I deserved it due to looking like shit...it took me a 39 minute drive and my boyfriend pointing at my chest for me to…