That’d be the Royal Keeper of the Hair Clips. We don’t call them barettes in the UK (I had to look it up to see what you meant).

I didn’t dislike Rachel, I felt frustrated and sad for her, but I didn’t find her unlikeable. That was reserved for fucking Amy from Gone Girl. Amy, you were a bitch.

I liked Rachel. In fact, I liked her so much I was goddamned WORRIED about her, to the point where I got about 30 pages in and had to stop for a week until my daughter assured me it ends OK for her.

Always an Adele, never a Dazeem

unless he was overly hairy, i bet he looked absolutely lovely in it.

“silly, wonderful hosts”.

I legitimately didn’t realize until today when reading news coverage that Paul’s ACTUAL last name is “Hollywood.” I thought they were just joshing around because of his roguish good looks. Like, “Oh, here comes ‘Hollywood’ with his ice blue eyes and hatred of bread that didn't rise long enough.”

But Parker himself didn’t say stop so, by his own logic, not only should the journalist kept going, he should have invited two other journalists into the room to keep asking the same question.

I love horror/thriller movies. They are my favorite genre. But, like many women, I’ve been sexually assaulted. It’s hard to find a good horror movie that does not involve the sexual assault of a woman. I’m not sure why; it’s such a lazy ass trope that is used entirely too often.

Since it was 1997, I found out about it by browsing teletext on my tv as I woke up. It must have been either a weekend or a school holiday, because I remember laying in bed and watching the news report all day. I was twelve.

Why didn’t they cast Derrick Barry and then have the whole thing be a campy, dark comedy instead of the dreary, melodramatic slog their biopics usually are?

Since it was only placed on my finger a few weeks ago, they’re going to have to chop my “heart of the ocean” ring off my cold dead hands. That recruiter can suck it.

She hands back all of the essays dramatically one by one until she gets to the lowest two grades, but there’s only one essay left in her hands and the student who’s essay is not in her hands must leave the classroom.

It’s worth pointing out that Marie Stopes is the UK’s private abortion provider. English women can still get abortions anywhere, anytime for free on the NHS as long as they don’t mind having less flexibility in appointment times.

Important highlights of the interview:

Are you for real? You cannot root for England in the olympics because there is no English team. There is a GB team. Team GB consists of England AND Scotland AND Wales AND Northern Ireland. You cannot interchange England and UK to mean the same because they don’t. If you are going to write an article about something at…

When I was in kindergarten I wrote my first book. It was about Charlie Brown. On one page, there were two boys making fun Charlie. On the next page was little Charlie Brown, arms raised in defiance, yelling back at the boys, “YOU FAGGOTS!!!”.

Also, I want both those cookies plus Samoas rn.

My takeaway also. I feel like most fashion is just trolling me at this point. “HOT FOR 2017: picture this... a dress... but we cut the fabric out of all the parts where most humans have squishy flesh (“fat”), and replaced it with a) nothing or b) mesh!!!”