I thought his name was pronounced Dead Mow Five?? I’m so embarrassed. I’m turning into my mother already.

She said something incredibly loudly with the “I’ve decided to live as a werewolf” episode of Kimmy Schmidt.

I love the dichotomy of his party boy persona vs. his save-the-earth-we-only-have-one image. I imagine he howled with the boys then was all like “but for real guys, wolves are really endangered.”

tay should have made sure her boob tape was covered (but i feel her pain on that one.)

This. This is the scene that won the Razzie. She barely knows him and he BITES HER TOAST. This offended me more than anything else in this ridiculous movie.

I think the most honesty I offered was when I told a guy I had been dating for a couple of months that I had to stop seeing him because someone else I had a major crush on asked me out and I wanted to give that a real shot.

Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

Both, dammit. Tonight the bowl holds my soup and the plate holds my grilled halloumi and I am not mixing the two.

There’s two!

Let’s do it.

Am def also on the “trying to drink enough water to stay alive” train.

Gwen Stefani’s Rejected Song Titles:

It kind of sucks that of all characters, Noah was the one who didn’t have an arc.
(I’ll show myself out, thanks.)

I find it delightful that she eats all that ridiculous shit, yet her name is Bacon.

DODAI.

I LOVE HER 😂

Grade: F (Blake Shelton says he’ll make you come come hell or high water.)

Gossip Girl ended and there’s an opening for a new one.

Dude. I drink until that stick I pee on tells me I’m pregnant. And even then? Wine happens, yo.