So we can start telling all those fuckheads who are always So Concerned about rUiNiNG a rApiSt’S RePuTaTiON that actually being convicted is incredibly profitable! Attn: trump

I thiiiink I told this story like ten years ago here, but it may have been somewhere else. Anyway, here it is again!!

Everything is a total shitshow but i must commend you for “snake-fuckingly crazy” because you are a goddamn poet

It’s shocking to me but hardly surprising that all but one house republican will vote to send literally a billion fucking dollars to israel and not a single one of those craven fucking assholes will vote to raise the debt ceiling. Fuck every single one of them.

I don’t want to work either, I’m so fucking lazy. I don’t think you have to think that anything is wrong with you, it seems normal to me that we would feel this way. There are people who feel driven, and there are people who aren’t, and there are people who are socialized to feel like shit about how they are. I have a…

LOL it’s so cute how you think having more subscribers would make spotify inclined to pay artists more

I have submitted SO MANY disputes to universal music. It’s hard enough being a classical musician without these fucking assholes claiming the rights to Bach.

My cousin’s husband, who used to be great, but who last christmas scooted progressively closer to me during dinner and during our family picture grabbed me by the hips from behind and pulled me up against him 

Every time I hear about Sqirl I feel compelled to share how much it pisses me off. Idk if it’s because it makes me feel uncool, or what. But once I had an appointment near there at 9 am and planned for traffic to be horrendous so I woke up extra early with the idea of getting breakfast there at 8, when it opened.…

I don’t think referring to protesting injustice as merely complaining is going to help anything either— of course if all we are doing is posting about it online we may as well be complaining, but I hope that we are directing our outrage to other channels as well. Talking about it IS helpful, it lets us show others…

“Why are you still complaining?” Are you serious? The police department did the bare minimum, any less and they would have done essentially nothing. The officers who walked by that poor man without helping should all be suspended without pay. We must hold police to a higher standard.

Should I switch careers after 15 years of being an orchestra musician earning peanuts? I am imagining the worst for this already precarious industry after all the cancellations and I’m thinking about doing a coding bootcamp because I have enough degrees already and I don’t want to have to wait years to make money…

YUP. All week I’ve been like damn Anthony Rendon would be so hot if he would cut that scraggly ass beard, but during game 6 I was like dude can do whatever he wants… And then he and his buddies can do whatever they want to me. Yum. 

I want to have group sex, maybe at like a sex club or something, and definitely be double penetrated. Also I want to visit antarctica.

Yep

Asking the private sector to deal with something like this is placing undue burden on individuals. Also, I completely disagree with the idea that the private sector is self-regulating. All you have to do is take one look at the diet industry to see that companies producing no results are making tons of money. Why…

This gif cracks me up every time but goddamn is it depressing how appropriate it has become

I know this always applies but fuck trump, we’ve basically outsourced border patrol to mexico’s southern states. I’m waiting for the day when mexico gets tired of being shat upon by the us...

Oh, fuck off with this assimilation bullshit. Why would we expect people to erase their personal history just to make racists more comfortable? I bet if every single immigrant spoke english without an accent and ate mcdonalds for every meal racists would still complain about them. I’ve lived abroad in two very…

Yes!! Why is this ok to just keep passing this on????