There once was a man from Nantucket

Fact: The McLaren F1 has 50% more seats than the McLaren P1. So with the F1 you can have your wife and your girlfriend with you at the same time, but in the P1 you’d have to choose. Such a rough life.

Holy crap. I clicked on the video and knew exactly where she is at (sign me up to be an investigative reporter, ESPN. I have a college degree, am in good shape, have all my teeth, and live in an apartment). Before everyone absolutely rags on Britt here, let me play devil’s advocate for just one second.

It's obviously snow. The dress is blue and gold and the birthday is April 13th.

You’re a lifelong Ravens fan? How old are you?

C’mon. If the Lakers can relocate to LA, why can’t Rivers?

Man, extreme wealth must be the coolest. Imagine having so much money that you can just go and blow some on invisible lightsabers.

Fucking belly-itchers, man.

Thanks,

I make mine dig their own graves and then stare into if for ten minutes before filling it up again. They get the idea.

“Mine.”

Won’t the umpires find it distracting?

"I trusted you."

If Corbin Sr. were here he'd tell the story of how Junior sharpie penned a full beard on him while sleeping the night before April fools. He'd also tell you about the terrible April fools morning he had trying to remove it with iron wool while preparing for a job interview after being unemployed for 1 year.

I laughed really hard at the dog licking the bongoes before playing them for some reason

The other Roddy White hasn't been responsible for any crowd noise since 2012.

Hayes forgot his embarrassment right after the presser, when a crowd of Wisconsin fans waiting outside crucified Frank Kaminsky.

"they are the sons and daughters of Thomas Jefferson"

I did. I sometimes took it off because I forget. I can't remember as well as I used to for some reason.

C-130 (I think) inside a C-5 Galaxy. Not that crazy (I'm sure there are crazier things out there, like bull semen), just a little bit of Inception.