(“Don’t You Forget About Me” entrance music plays) (pro wrestling stories enter the arena)

He’ll respawn at the hospital in a few anyway.

Allen Iverson denies a claim made by a former teammate that he occasionally spent $40,000 at a strip club when he was a 76er. “First of all it was like $9,000 at most and there were never any strippers at the TGI Friday’s on City Line,” says Iverson. “Unless I brought them. Sometimes I brought a bunch. And I supposed…

People saying this is convenient or a conspiracy are idiots. Seriously.
1 - Because it’s not convenient for two reasons: Cap recapture and losing one of the team’s best players, a guy who would be team captain in maybe any other team except the Penguins.
2 - People with no medical knowledge have absolutely no idea how…

(unintelligible screaming)

I’m black you dumbass

I’ll tackle that second question. To preface this, I am transgender and medically transitioning.

That’s right - Rex Fucking Grossman! come on, sexy Rexy, it’s time to pull out the lasers again.

I just feel actively bad all the time

He is Canadian.

Too bad the Seattle Pilates don’t exist anymore, I’m sure they’d have a roster spot for him.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Ashley, I know you probably take a lot of shit over your work here, so I wanted to tell you I have started to deliberately check Deadspin when something like this breaks, knowing that your article will both appropriately reinforce my horror and commiserate with it. You’re great. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise…

I met Joe Walsh in a Colonial cafe outside of Elgin Community College during my lunch break some years back. I thought I recognized him and asked, “are you Joe Walsh?”

The GOP calls it the “Max Cleland”.

Hopefully more of these idiots die in standoffs. Sorry— not sorry.

Sheeet, Lambos should come with velvet ropes anyway.

Did you just all lives matter me