Not as punchable as the guy in the suit and sunglasses.

I'm pretty sure their success depends on the amount of food they sell, not the number of plates they rent.

That second question seems redundant.

This isn't bad advice, but it only works if you're good at your job. If you're not good at your job, your boss will think, "Why is this deadwood shithead cracking wise?" That's a bad situation. It's like watering the action-item garden, man.

That was not clear. Cleaning out my desk now.

That male cheerleader is like something out of a Marines commercial.

Yeah, that's literally the point.

oh my god that garbage man

"Kristen Stewart walks by and completely ignores Victoria Secret and pretty much womanhood altogether and walks into Dick's Sporting Good's to buy a pair of MEN'S PANTS instead, choosing to wear them to the beach with her BOOB UNDERWEAR and a woman who is just like, a sex friend (So maybe you can get with both of…

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you. Then you throw the ball through the hoop. Then you win"

As always, highlight truthers remain my second least favorite commenters, barely losing out to the racists/homophobes.

• lots of police are former military and stick with the look I guess

Perhaps you are a terrible liar because your cranium is packed with fat.

There is no such thing as using too many wipes. Good luck getting just one out of the plastic tub. I end up pulling out a phone sized stack and don't care; I just go with it. The kid is there with crap all over their ass and starting to squirm, you just have to get as much off of them as quick as possible before they…

Lithuania's Got Negligible Talent

holy shit, dude, can you jerk Bill Burr off any more? dude's not even that great of a comedian

Look, can we just call everyone an asshole?

Actually, it's pretty common for these kinds of shirts to get donated to third-world states, where issues such as mass corruption and excessive police force run rampant.

I've had the pleasure (?) of depositing twice in my life. My second time was similar to your experience; the darkish room, the stock porn mags from 5-10 years ago (no hardcore though), cute receptionist, etc. Turns out my sperms looked good.