Remember, it's the Browns. Winning the Super Bowl feels like "having a billion dollars" to a regular person. When you've had two winning seasons in your entire tenure as a reconstituted organization, "stay above 500" is probably the goal. "The long game" is something real teams think about. Not the Browns.

<bunch of uhs scattered throughout to continue the joke>Sure, but they're in second place and 1.5 games out of first with 4 weeks left. It's not like they're the Bucs or something (to be fair, they ARE the god damn Browns). Sure, if the Steelers, Ravens and Browns all manage to achieve the same record and are tied…

Uh, while it technically true that they are last place in the division, that is because there are 3 teams tied for second place. What a weird thing to say.

You have sex while your baby is in the bed.

"A fake plastic cabdriver who screams when he dies" may not be much of a shoutout, but Tom givin' props to JC.

Burneko, what the hell is this? " The friggin' Ethyl Higby Charm School doesn't have that many misses." That's not a reference to anything. The only Google hits to that are this article.

Enjoying the hyperbole here.

Congratulations on your ignorance AND your inability to google, I guess? I thought this whole "type a question into twitter instead of google" was a thing that tweens did, but apparently someone from my age bracket is also infected with this form of nobrain.

Team No One, yet again.

*runs in breathlessly*

Use real quote!
"No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby."

If you're under 30, come talk to me in ten years.

You ready for the worst part? You get to be both of those fucking assholes - the dumbshit kid who takes too much molly and stares at his fucking phone all the time, and then the boring as shit parent who has to clean shit off his kid. Just wait. Or, you know, you could be a childless fucking weirdo who ends up with…

Applies to every YouTube video.

You got me bro! Totally scored some semantic points on me!

It's supposed to mean that you looked at an experiment that was about the way men prey on women and said "yeah I imagine the same thing would happen if you reversed the genders." You don't need to imagine. You can put your money where your mouth is for like ZERO dollars. As Mr. Calvert notes below, a drunk man…

Nothing is stopping you from running the same experiment gender swapped if you really want to try to say something.

Yeah I was really creeped out by this remark in the article and then I listened to the interview and it's gotta be what you're saying.

I appreciate the info. But if we're going off of the book's drawings as evidence, think about what happens. The kid becomes a man and cuts the tree down for a boat. He comes back as an old man, so decades later. The tree is still a stump. If it hasn't resprouted by the time he gets back, it won't resprout.

That's not how trees work.