+1 hit by a 10 ton truck

[Gruden voice] THIS TEAM I CALL ‘EM MORRISSEY BECAUSE IN A PANIC THEY’RE TRYNA HANG IT ON THE DJ

Yeah. I was also highly irritated at the exclusion of the headphone jack, mostly because it’s all I’ve known since I started using corded headphones with my Walkman in 1983. Several years and five pairs of bluetooth headphones later, I’m extremely happy without them and give it zero additional thought- and especially…

That’s the joke........

Is this wrong? Yes.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

DD put together a fantastic Detroit team that missed winning a couple of world series through bad playoff luck. He took the Sox from worst to title in a year. He got Bogaerts on a steal of a contract and put together a surprisingly good group of relievers on the cheap. The minors bottomed out but are starting to rise…

He was emotional because his grandfather passed.

Can I just say that his wording on that insta post is worth a 54k fine. 

Same reason I always order a shot with my beer. Can't get drunk on whiskey if you're buying beer. It's just math. 

Don’t forget Hair-on-my-chinny-chin-chin-weight.

while Tevin and her older sister grew up in Cleveland with their great aunt.

Yeah, it’s like the least-weird thing Travolta has said in a very long time.

A father says the nicest, least narcissitic, least sexist things, about his daughter in public and somehow that’s...weird? And taking credit for her doing well?

Yes, stupid baby. 

“the recording was made last Friday, when she and her son were at a trampoline park.”

Incorrect.

He is literally the Lord of Dogtown 

Peyton’s too busy making shitty commercials that make me long for Cheryl’s She-Shed. TV was a mistake.

Is a rebate a sandwich?