Anyone who knows musical history knows Mozart WAS shitty pop music, and you’re worshipping him hundreds of years later... Way to preemptively nuke your point from orbit, dumbass.

It's simply people trying to insert themselves as a middle man to carve off some value from something they had no hand in creating. These people 100% deserve your scorn. 

A very acceptably wet blanket, my friend. I’m the same way. Concert tickets are my main beef. Ticketmaster and other outlets have tried to combat it, but they always figure out ways of getting large quantities anyway.

I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure “Let’s go to our history, not all the history” is the actual motto of the Texas Board of Education.

How do we stop the Cowboys from being on primetime games?  Is there anything we can do?  Is there like a get out the vote thing we can throw at this problem?  

• Kanye has zero originality

Final minutes of a game where his team's playing with 10 men, he clearly wanted to waste as much time as possible. 

crab rangoon. things of that nature.

Obligatory:

Given their weird English system of measurements and the recent ballyhoo over Koepka hitting a fan at the Ryder Cup, 64 foot-pounds of force in England is equivalent to one French Eyeball.

There’s a little known nerve in the face connected to your legs. It’s called the Neymaric Nerve.

Flopping starts at the top.

“Starbucks appears to be striving for a lukewarm medium”

The Maryland Board of Regents is also the board of this school. 

“We got our left tackle Pepper Grinder, man, I’ll tell ya, that guy can really spice things up. Our tight end, Salt Shakur, brings a lot of flavor to the table. And man, our running back, Cin-Mon Shugger, he’s got some sweet moves on him.”

I didn’t say they can’t have fun. Just that they are god damn weirdos. You do you, weirdo

Eek, a ghost!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the new University of Maryland football coach.

I think he meant more like a daddy figure.

A football coach’s sense of humor should be graded on a curve, anyway