First off, I believe her and hopefully, she gets what she needs to help move forward from this whatever that may be.

It’s still the Gruden Hotline.

I think you should just get it over with and ask Sully out on a date.

In the same spirit, might I gently suggest a modest edit to your comment?

-Wesley Snipes, but only if filming a sequel/reboot to "White Men Can't Jump" 

They’re a regular Romegoal and Julinet

What if he loses it and punches the ref right there (besides not scoring later)?

“That’s a cool trick, Anna. But let me show you how to make a first round pick disappear.” -Vlade Divac

This is the only time I’ve ever liked a CC. I’m sick of being copied on emails that have nothing to do with me.

There is an MLB catcher effectively named Sweet Christ??! How have I missed this?

OK, here’s my theory: The dress code stated that the girls couldn’t wear clothes that were tight and/or “revealing.” Some smart young woman pointed out that athletic shorts have no structure, hang funny, and show the outlines of stuff you don’t necessarily want to see in school.

I was in a high school that had the finger tip rule for girls (I don’t know if it was ever explicitly stated it applied to boys, it was an era of baggy shorts). What I found weird in my extensive research of staring at girls’ legs in class, is the school issued cheerleader uniforms were no where near as long. Like…

Oh, it’s sketchy as fuck. 

“They ruin the dress code, well — ask Adam. Look at Eve. That’s really all you got to get to. You can go back to the beginning of time. All you need is a time machine. And for my own literal interpretation of the book of Genesis to be accurate. And then you can ask a naked man a question he won’t understand because he…

Cy and Phyllis.

Based on Kelsi's Instagram, she finds Chlamydia kinda catchy.

I gotta tell you, this feels a lot like you’re hearing galloping, seeing a mane and tail, and you’re looking for a zebra instead of a horse.

That's not even in the same species; that actually tastes good.

My best friend is a pillbug so it can’t be racist.

Best to play it safe and assume the worst intentions.