He moves before the dong-contact occurs, seems like! We need Phantom-Cam footage of this event.  I’m willing to help fund this endeavor. 

Wait, are you suggesting that if a man did this, that he would not be asked to stop?  Because like... yeah the fuck he would. 

“Into”? It looks like he cleared him and the defender chose to fall, but I can’t see any other angles. 

I’m generally in support of snark but I think this one went over your head, my guy.  

It bums me out that this has even gotten 2 stars.  

You’re more of a hero than anyone I know. 

Is this a... Nelly reference?  Please come to my parties. I need support. 

Okay this probably won’t work, but I’d kick myself if I didn’t try...

I’m 31 now, grew up in the Detroit suburbs, and it was definitely frowned upon when I was in high school. I would be surprised if someone 8 years younger than me didn’t know that wasn’t cool. 

“I’d like my coffee with a dash of almond-based-milk-substitute.”  Rolls off the tongue.

At what point on the sex-doll to android to real human spectrum does it start being cheating? Self-awareness?

It’s a better smell than a warmth, for my money. 

I’m not disagreeing with that point at all. In fact, I also think he’s a hack.

I’m dismissive of Dane Cook as well, but dude, you’re coming off as a real ding-dong right now.  

I’ve got a lot of questions about this weird ass take, such as how you can say you’re not comparing two people as you proceed to compare two people, but my biggest question is:

Oh shit, I didn’t see that you said star. My bad. He was not the star of that sketch. 

No fuckin’ way does he play both sports. He has the skills to do so, obviously, but no way does anyone try this in 2019.

I like this version of your comments.  Better than some grey yelling the n-word at me.

She’s tired of getting pregnant, but y’all haven’t had sex in 3.5 years? This feels like it was typed by a Complaint Robot (TM)

Can you state your expertise on this subject? Because that whole comment thread sounds like something my mother would say after seeing too many Ali Larter movies with zero understanding of how THE LONG CON really goes.