“I’m so sad that I have to boycott Lily Pulitzer right at the start of the horse season because of this.”

I didn’t either, and now I’m sitting at work, thinking over who should have won it for the past decade.

That’s definitely some skin made crispy with a hair dryer.

Whitest THING???...Mmmmmm Chicken.....

...why the fuck are my skinfolk so goddamned opposed to salting their meat...?

I love how one of her attacks on blacks in Jo’Burg is that they are “opinionated.” Like, how dare they think they are actually people, right? lol

And we’re supposed to feel sorry for the white farmers losing their (stolen) land over there... NOT

I shed a tear for her. Oh wait, those are tears from laughter!

1. My mama.

Same. I’m from Alabama and Georgia, and I really wish I could just be anonymous sometimes, but at this point I’ve been trained to feel rude if I don’t engage with everyone. Its kind of tiring after all these years.

I’m from the Deep South and a very anxious person. I long for the lack of “how’s your mama and ‘em?” every time I want to buy gas or whatever. The Yankee way honestly appeals to me, it seems much more efficient. Surely there’s a middle ground of detached politeness that doesn’t require a 10 minute conversation that…

I have not, but I have avoided a state for this reason.

American tourists use this exact excuse everywhere we go. “I’m not rude, I’m American!” should be our national motto.

I had hoped that Santorum had quietly died in shame.

Don’t mean to go ‘biblical’ on y’all but there will be a day of reckoning for these craven cowards who won’t cut loose from the NRA. We’re moving closer to that day every minute. If you’d asked me a year ago, I would’ve said not in my lifetime but there’s reason to hope now. Man, I love those kids....

I have a theory; when some people are out of the limelight for a while and they want back in, they sometimes think to themselves, “what’s the dumbest shit I can say they’ll make people notice me again?” And then they say it.

“Help, I’ve been shot in the gut.”

My brother was killed in a wreck on Wednesday. He was 29. He was a good man, with a big heart. He overcame a lot of obstacles and had gotten his life headed the way he wanted to go, and then he swerved to miss a dog in the road. Just like that, one thing, and he’s gone.