So this is also the summary for the porn parody of Animal Farm, yes?

As a former resident of Rhode Island, it’s always fun trying to explain the level of corruption in the state to others. My easiest shorthand is to point to Buddy Cianci, whose flesh eating corpse could rise from the grave tomorrow, start believing in National Socialism and become a literal Nazi Zombie, run for Mayor…

That’s the face of a man keeping a close eye on his wife and concerned about his father-in-law’s wandering hands.

A brow that can bring us all together. A unifying brow or “unibrow,” if you will.

So if I’m understanding you, you’re arguing in favor of a do nothing electorate who should never attempt to replace a politician who has ties to special interests because there will just be another to take their place?

This was a group of constitutents engaging with an elected official face to face. This is pure, uncut…

Because step one in enacting desired legislation is to remove road blocks to said legislation. Marco Rubio is given money from the NRA, so without even calling into question the purity of Marco Rubio’s financial interest, at it’s most innocent this would indicate that the NRA believes Marco Rubio’s continued stay in…

Well we know no one would chant “basketball” at you on account of a procession of comments dunking on you in this thread.

Among all the other concerns that are of greater ethical and moral importance, I also feel as if the NFL’s self-seriousness and dedication to stamping out any forms of expression has made it seem simply less fun than the other leagues. Take the NBA for instance: at their All-Star event they embrace things like the…

You mean you aren’t intrigued by a flustered Adam Schefter breathlessly informing us about some bizarre contract or cap minutiae in the middle of April?

Now we’re just gonna pee on this little tree here and this little tree here and hey, this little tree here. Because we’re all good boys.

I’m not sure which is more pathetic, that you think you’re entitled to a moment to publicly navel gaze about how tough things are for you because the Pats used to be bad over 20 years ago, or that you’re 53 and your go to is “your Mom” jokes. The only way you could be more of a New England stereotype is if you were…

Bevis no longer able to butt heads.

Ooh, we’d also really like to hear your Deflategate conspiracy theories too! Maybe then you could toss in the phrase “haters” somewhere and then your transformation into total stereotype can be complete!

I thought this would be a natural segue into some great “life hacks”about removing stains from various articles of clothing. Missed opportunity.

Apropos of absolutely nothing, the thumbnail picture of this story almost makes it look like Elon Musk’s eyes are completely white and he’s trying to use some sort of arcane magic to summon something with his hands.

Pointless observations like this probably contribute in some small way to why I’ll never have Elon…

You think you have it bad, mine was covfefe!

“Water, water, every where,

I dunno, I’d hate for them to expend even that much energy. They’ll need it for hauling him out and dumping him on the street like the desiccated husk of an old Christmas tree.

This sure aged well.

I always thought it looked like he auditioned for some sort of erotic Peter Pan movie that never got made and thought “well why waste the outfit?”