I know everyone knows about Trump’s kids, Ivanka and Donald Jr., but I’d like to remind everyone that he has a son with Melania named Barron. The most notable (and let's be real the only) fact I know about him is every night after his bath his mother, Melania, rubs him down in $150 an ounce caviar lotion from her…

I feel like that says more about the country’s confidence in him as a leader than anything else. I love and trust my dad and I think he’s the most capable guy around who would never ever intentionally hurt anyone. But if I had a baby and he said “hey! Look what I can do” and tried to balance my baby like that, Pappa…

Wait. People put their automatic cars in neutral when driving? What? Why?

I got a new acl about a year and a half ago. While drugged up waiting for surgery my doctor came in before the procedure mostly for my moms benefit. He says “hey kiddo, you ready?” And I reply “hey, don’t you play golf with my dad? How’s your game been lately?” He (as its been told back to me) was elated and couldn’t…

The real question: did Kim send Bette a thank you note?

$75k plus punitive damages? That sounds way too low. Like laughably too low.

Ew. No.

You NEED to finish it. The weird blue paint going in and out of slow mo back and forth is amazing. The best part is they didn't capture before the paint first hit him so it's just a confusing back and forth montage. And keep watching till the end. The cinematographer put his name in huge prominent letters on a black…

Haha it's great because you can seem like a good person while simultaneously being the worst person in the world

I’m trying this new thing where if I don’t have anything nice to say I find one or two things that are positive. Like hey it looks like it was shot with a really expensive camera! Or is that james’s demo reel to play a desperate suspect on Canda’s answer to law and order svu, Flashpoint? He’s gonna nail that audition.

Shonda Rhimes: Six seasons and we all stopped watching at 2.2 tho. Except Greys. You made it to a solid 3.

I feel like Lena loves to talk about the queer community bc she found her people in a grungy gay bar in college but if she were directly asked would you beat that pussy up like the ying yang twins?bShe would reply “um. no. Like I respect the desire and the follow through with woman on woman sex but it’s like not for…

I love puns haha

I thought yahoo online was yahoo answers for a second. Sadly yahoo answers is a doctor for a lot haha

Exactly! You can tell yourself they he a good free range life but they’re still in rush hour traffic in tiny shoe boxes chillin on 85 giving me a dirty look “oh look, spaghetti junction. I will be in spaghetti in a week or so”

This exchange is going to take a turn for the deliciously ironic in a second. There are a few militant vegetarian/vegans that will ruin your entire meal for getting the chicken or how dare you get brown butter risotto! And I do think the having to assure people “yeah it’s chill. Get a medium rare steak.” does come…

I feel like Mariah is Jane Every Woman but instead of it being embarrassing that she’s laying in bed drinking mimosas and eating a hot pocket at 2 pm on a Saturday, it’s fabulous. Like I would love to be her chillsistant where I do all the horrible bad things with her and we laugh when either of us says “we should do…

Mariah probably though trump’s plane was too low key

I was a vegetarian for years. I also have a dog who has a wheat and corn intolerance. I’m that yuppie buying that raw refrigerated dog food. I made the decision to be a vegetarian. I also made the decision to be a pet owner. My decision to not eat meat because i saw a full chicken truck every single morning on my…

Because I like Bethany I'm hoping it is an exaggeration and the surgery is for melanoma