“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

ur mom is a functional ball handler

You went to K State. A lot more than 5 minutes has been stolen from you.

Another rule: all teams that play in the Badlands are called the Browns. Hockey, base ball, whatever. They are the Browns. Browns vs. Browns. Fans are forced to wear brown at the stadium.

What if she wasn’t really pregnant and the ball was full of cash and happiness?

If he was any good at stopping things before they bust we wouldn’t be here, would we?

Mitchell: Mark. Can you wear a lab-coat on Monday? We have that huge press conference.

I typed out a comment about the value of veteran leadership in a point guard with Finals experience, but then again Kyrie probably spends most of halftime planning to show Brad Stevens anti-vaccine YouTube videos.

Sssssssssssssswing!

Also, we have a fair amount of evidence at this point that his teams tend not to overachieve, which is a clear sign that someone is a good coach.

But Brown is for sure a good basketball coach

“No adder no adder no adder...”

I bet he was sssstealing sssignsss.

What is that bullshit? Dinosaurs and human silhouettes didn’t even exist at the same time, dude. 

Again: that’s 400 million years of no fucks given right there

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

The next time you wonder why somebody would want to play for San Diego or Cinncinnati when they could play for a big market team...this is why. Sometimes it is nice when nobody cares.

and it didn’t require the sacrifice of four seasons

In a just world, he’d be the eventual successor to Mark Emmert.

put it straight into my veins