I’ve been waiting for Lourdes Leon’s memoir.

Psst...Moylan is recapping the housewives on vulture.com.

I don’t even know how to expose myself emotionally. Unless they teach how to be emotionally naked in the class, people are probably choosing the easier option.

I don’t even know how to be emotionally naked. That seems like it would be a lot harder than just being naked, so how is it even a fair choice?

I’m shy and not very talkative, so I don’t do much talking at the nail salon. I never get the same person twice, and I don’t go that often, so it’s not like I would be forming a relationship with someone anyway. I’m polite, I thank them and tell them they’re doing a good job, but that’s it. I don’t think I’m…

Me too! I would never demean someone by making them hang out with me and talk to me. I can do that for myself, thank you very much!

When you get a mani-pedi, they massage your hands, legs, and feet! You get to sit in a massage chair. It feels good. It’s not about being worked on by someone.

How is it demeaning to pay someone for a service? Do you eat at restaurants? Do you allow waiters to carry food to your table? If you think that it’s demeaning to give someone a pedicure, what about a gynecologist who has to poke about in your vag? Is that demeaning? I just don’t understand your thinking.

It sounds British.

That IS your prize!

My dog is a total slut. She would run off with anyone. Real name not required.

All I know is that my dog would come running to any word said in an excited tone. Knowing her real name would not be necessary.

That was my favorite!

That’s 95% of what I use my phone for, so the thought of it is appealing, but I would feel like a noob wearing one of those things.

I would be behind that if it were a dark workplace comedy about airline workers who hate their customers and devise ways to fuck with them. Kind of like an Always Sunny in an airport.

I would not be respectful and nice in that situation, but I would not criticize the employee’s appearance or education, because I don’t think those things make me better than someone else. This bitch thinks she’s better than others because she’s on tv and conforms to society’s standards of attractiveness.

There is!

If Jason is so nice, why won’t he get out of the apartment?

Plus, Hills has got to be way past menopause. Her hormone situation is not a factor at this point.

To be fair, she probably doesn’t even know what Aldi is. This is someone who has no experience shopping cheap, so she has no clue how to do it.