Sorry but, Musk and Grimes together looks fucking stupid af. Them together at the Met Gala looks like an uncle taking his niece, who’s going through a rough patch as she enters puberty, out to a fancy red carpet event because Elon promised his sister he would do something nice for her after she loaned him money and…

I should get it monogrammed.

I think dudes don’t use kleenex because it leaves some kind of material residue (possibly dust) that I assume could get into their dickhole and infect their dick with kleenex fuzz. But then again I use toilet paper to wipe my vaj and don’t have an issue.

That’s funny because I wish that my husband would stop using a different bath towel every time he jizzes. Like, stop wasting my towels and use one designated towel for jizz until it’s unclean and then we can wash it. Becuase I keep taking showers and realize we’re out of towels because they’re all in the hamper after…

When I was 11 and had my own phone line (this was around 1995) some random older man would call me, I guess he was randomly dialing phone numbers, and would coerce me into having phone sex with him. He’d talk to me about pornography and all the random different jobs you can have when filming porn (that’s how I learned…

starring Allison Mack

Also, apparently, Kanye posted a picture of their home on IG with the caption “do this look like the sunken place?” i’m pretty sure in response to Peele commenting that African Americans are always in “the sunken place.” Hmmmmmmmm.

Thank god for this video becase I think I got too high. Is my heart going to explode?  

Ugh, that sucks. Southern California has gotten so incredibly expensive, too. I feel like we’re just throwing our money away by renting over and over. I try not to think about the madness of it all too much, or else i’d just sit and cry all day, yelling at the world.

I agree. I keep telling my husband that, but he’s somehow convinced that all realtors are the same and doesn’t think a new one is going to offer us anything new than the shitty one we’re with right now. His attitude kind of sucks and i’m kind of the one trying to keep our hopes afloat.

I think that’s how it’s ultimately going to end up going for us. My lease in the apartment I’m in now is about to end at the end of June, and my husband tried really hard to get us into a house by July, but now it’s April and it just isn’t looking possible. Renting is going to take a hit on our savings, but if it…

The struggle to buy a fucking house in America continues...

I had to

I would like to live on mars AND have dramatic sex. Preferably having the sex on mars. Unless Trump is still prez.

Uhh....can someone explain to me what bacon has to do with tampons? Or hurting yourself trying to put a tampon in/out? I do not get whatever this is all about.

Yeah i’ve heard that it’s smart to go after something that is affordable by the standards of your income flow. Like, if we got approved for a $500,000 mortgage we would definitely not be buying a $500,000 house. The one we’re interested in right now is below the amount we were approved for, by a considerable amount…

Thanks. It’s kind of a fixer-upper, which is what we’re aiming at. My husband is a welder and fabricator so he wants something that we can fix up but it still has good bones and isn’t sinking into the earth or has termites or what have you.

Probably! The one on the left makes the same face Skittle Boy makes all the time! Also Skittles is T H I C C. He’s not fat...he’s just thick and has huge bones. Every vet I take him to is always surprised at his size.

Thanks! I did a lot of internet research and I guess kitties without teeth do totally fine for the most part. I try not to think about him getting old, and dealing with him aging and starting to lose abilities and parts of his body is sad to watch, but that’s just the process and I knew it was going to happen some…

my precious man. he’s getting all his teeth removed during my spring break :(