But there are two of them and we only have the one....

oh, I see where this is going.

“By average adult weight, I have four black friends.”

She takes care of herself. That’s what she’s best at…

Ottawa moving to Quebec City would be the highlight of my life:

St. Louis Post-Dispatch headlines:

All Day I Dream About Sanctions

Old habits die hard, I guess. But if the team really wanted this behavior to change, shouldn’t they have named themselves Atlanta Delta?

They definitely had no idea what they were doing. Next, they’ll throw bananas because they saw it happen during games in Europe.

Pretty impressed he’s in good enough to shape to carry around Alexei Emelin while wearing a suit.

I’m not crying, you’re crying

“Can you hear me now?”

Well, I’ll boycott the Holiday Bowl either way, just to be safe.

What a pathetic hill to die on. If they boycotted because a rapist(s) went unpunished, that would be awesome. I’d even happily accept boycotting a game because they don’t get paid. But to boycott in support of rapists?

“So tell us about the jobs that will be created by this stadium plan.”

“See this is why can’t let women around Italians.” - better advice

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

On the “not knowing it’s real” front, a few years ago Trump “bought out the WWE” in storyline. Not knowing it was just an angle, Wall Street panicked and WWE’s stock tanked, forcing the company to abandon the Trump storyline immediately.

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

A guy named Mike who wants to “nuke the gays” will temporarily fill in while the head man is out of commission. Thank goodness this is only football and not any sort of consequential situation.