After his ejection, the Raiders captain ran off the field blowing kisses to the booing crowd.

Sir, this is an Arby's

“I used to have trouble getting it up, because of E.D.*”

“That’s probably a little bit unheard of and a little bit unique, but I think this is a place where that would be appreciated.”

“but merely encouraged so players could “demonstrate their appreciation to the RCAF”

That was a pithier reply than I'd have expected from him, but it's probably not the first time he finished quickly talking about feet.

Kneeling for the anthem? Enterprise will pick you up!

a surprising number of Mariners fans (who should have known better)

In all honesty, I served five years at Enterprise. I still have PTSD and wake up from nightmares about it being the Friday before a holiday and we’re all out of minivans.

Never forget their sacrifice

“In honor of all the brave men and women that don’t charge for minor dents and lingering smells.”

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

I am also shocked that a Boston team would have anything to do with a website that is basically what an online version of a New England WASP who can quote every Family Guy rape joke.

-Vladimir Putin in November, 2016.

Man, imagine being too scummy an association for the Bruins. 

Well played!

Sorry, he got in trouble with the SEC years ago, but nobody thought Alabama might be involved until now? What have the investigators been doing??

The worst penalty that a guy like Kraft can receive is release of that video so if I am the prosecutor and a fan of creative sentencing/vigilante justice, I drop the case today which activates condition (C):

Rick Pitino is holding on line 1, but probably for only about another 8 seconds.

I am unable to distinguish between the fart sound and every other sound that has ever come out of his mouth.