The doctor must have had a lot of trouble treating Curt’s mouth cancer, what with his foot constantly being in the way.

Only if she shits on his chest.

There is a Skyline Chili joke in here somewhere....

Mental health issues can be terrible. You inevitably feel like it’s you vs. yourself.

Percy Harvin has every right to feel disrespected. Seattle essentially gave him away to New York for nothing, and instead of proving the doubters wrong, Harvin turned in another injured, mediocre season. I guess Seattle’s head coach was right when he told reporters that he believed a stolen Jet wouldn’t be capable of…

If he comes back, he comes back. If not, we’re good without him.

I really want to believe you, and the picture totally NAILS it

Why can’t Americans spell cheque properly?

“Did somebody say Bush league?”

Rex claimed I.K. because, as we all know, the Enemkpali of our enemy is our friend.

If you’re rioting over MLS, you need to re-evaluate the priorities in your life.

Rumour has it they were arguing over who’s team name was more offensive.

Colleague: More wood?

It’s unbelievable the way Colbert can quote Tolkien, The Bible, Broadway plays, and so many other things from memory.

Hmm, authorities refusing to comment on an investigation of a young man with a history of violence who very recently grew out a long beard as part of a religious exercise. Haven’t heard that one before.

“So what am I supposed to do if I’m supermanning some ho, and this other bitch wants me to eat her out while sticking a bottle of Crystal into some other hoochie’s coo-coo?”

Fascinating!

As a lifelong Mariner fan in the midst of suffering through a season in which they’re 10 games back with 2 months to go, thanks for this late-season pick me up story.

Canadians made hitchBOT, which is to say that they crudely assembled a broadly anthropomorphic heap of refuse and left it someplace for strangers to take care of for them.

Tonight the role of Albert Burneko will be played by Colin Cowherd’s id.