Really need to add to the waistline. Might as well clog up the ol’ arteries while I’m at it, eh? None of this counts, of course, ‘cause I’m a foodie. I read food blogs and watch cooking shows.

Not doing any spy stuff, but I don’t want prying eyes looking at my financial and medical business.

You’re either ignorant or you send and receive emails with only happy face emojis in them.

Patrick doesn’t work in the corporate world.

No shit body wash is crap. It’s expensive and you either have to use an ass rag while you wash, or keep squeezing the fucking stuff into your hand.

If your story has any of these elements, you’re not a good storyteller:

‘Bout fuckin’ time poaching eggs was chill.

The problem with ethical porn is that it’s. . . boring. Lots of good looking people making love. Lots of long gazes as someone is getting pumped. Or it’s just awkward, as the people who are naked are super aware that they’re being watched.

Oh, please, for the time, it was a decent superhero flick. I know everyone is a purist now, because, you know, nerd culture and shit... but christ! I remember living in a time when the best I could hope for was George Reeves and a drug store comics rack.

Thunder bolts from Zeus 

Tell him if he doesn’t give them contact info, he’ll do just fine as long as he has no intention of ever contacting anyone.

This is only an issue for old people who still have AOL, write in all caps, and complain about the raps “music”.

sigh. I remember when they were Meijers Thrifty Acres. . .

Every time I go to an Aldi or Trader Joes, I am reminded just how much junk food people eat. Or super processed foods. Those who shop at TJs, I think, kid themselves into thinking they’re eating a well balanced diet. But just because a bag of snacks doesn’t say DORITOS, it doesn’t mean it’s doing you any good.

• First of all, what is your favorite grocery store? My wife and I shop at a locally owned greengrocer, and an independent butcher. While we occasionally visit super markets, most of the fruit and veg there is of much lower quality, and more expensive.

Hm. After many, many weeks, and reading this article, I AM REALLY UPSET!

My landlord insists on a check, and it can’t be an automatic bank check. And it has to include the rent slip he provides. So, you know, some people are limited.

Use a sharpie. The ink doesn’t wash off. Paper hangers can’t use it. Simple enough, and you don’t have to spend an additional $15 a month to send something FedEx.

Why would you want to be in the conversation if you’ve never seen it?

Ooo! Look— it’s a Russian trumpbot