Apparently you’re not familiar with Title K-IX.

MOOOOMM!!! MOOOMMMMM!! MOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
GET DOWN HERE!!! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
The mean Brasillian assholes stole my money, and threw me down on the ground, and put their guns on me, and the other swimmers too, but most importantly MEEEE!!!
I can’t believe they did that!!! To MEEEE!!!

So Lochte basically told the Cartman version of the story

Glue factory would have been better IMO.

Looks like the Yankees decided to put A-Rod out to pasture. That idiom works for centaurs, as well as horses, right?

How did you get here?

Lake Eerie Golden Showers?

White Sox clubhouse is offering a half off sale on throwbacks!

He’s made bolder claims:

Half these guys look like they've never ridden a bike. I thought it would’ve been a more Specialized group.

Barbecue involves slow cooking food at low temperatures over several hours. I believe the more generic “grilling” is a more apt term for this article.

Only appropriate that on 4th of July the American once again conquers the Brit.

“Heaven help us if one of the conditions is to pee in a bottle.”

A urine sample from him is the *one* thing dirtier than the water in Rio.

To be fair, the Padres have a solid history of supporting the homeless. Heck, their entire current roster is full of bums.

You know what would be the best Father’s Day gift ever?

You know what would be the best Father’s Day gift ever?

Pay attention men: Women do not like it when you send your donger to their cell phone. They end up blocking it every time.

Only 2 people are at fault when a kid does something its not supposed to spoiler its the parents they are responsible for keeping the kid in line at all times. No shopping mall employee is to blame at all. That’s more of the great pass the buck parenting we see all the time now.

Ha, my family/pit vehicle came with with no less than three of them already hanging out on the rear hatch. Also dual praying hands on each rear quarter window with text “prayer works” (this was the maintenance strategy, apparently). A little reminder sticker next the ignition. So much Jesus! PO liked the stickers so…

NSFW or anywhere else . . .