“Did he catch a football? No idea. What I know is that if that motherfucker wears 9/11 cleats we’re fining him to the fucking moon. PROTECT THE SHIELD.”

“WHO CARES?!!?11?” -Somebody who absolutely cares

Look at those service men and women kinda bending their knees during the anthem! Fuck them for disrespecting themselves!

ESPN Exec: “Yeah, Charles...that take was at about 60 degrees. We’re going to need you at about a 110 going forward, mkay?”

Wow, a nuanced and well reasoned take on ESPN. Maybe they’r—

(Insert illustration of a joke appearing over someone's head)

Hi, you must be new here. Welcome! You’ll learn your way around soon, but let me offer a piece of advice: nobody cares about (1) your fantasy football team, nor (2) the details of your reality football team’s roster construction. We just like goofy and/or awesome sporting spectacles.

He's been in America long enough now that he should go by the name Jack Of The River.

Mmmmm that’s some good Week 1 Kinja

Ballsy.

I’m guessing he probably didn’t go to school there.

The underdog story of how a little known kid from a community college got drafted by the Dallas Cowboys.

So if fans stop being delusional the USMNT will play better? That's a weird correlation you drew there.

God dammit! We gotta go through another season of this shit?

Once again Patrick you buried the lead. Panthers are the best undefeated team in the NFL right now.

My vote is for your sarcasm detector!

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

If you ask me, they shouldn’t have been playing in Temple to begin with.

#VetsForCadets

This is disgusting. Look how many of these players are kneeling and not showing the proper respect to the Lord.