How does a fancy dog even get ahold of a phone, let alone call into a radio station?

That’s Tom Brady’s voice, I can tell from some of the pixels and from having heard a lot of fake accents in my time

K, what should we post about instead today?

Hey hey hey, let’s not forget about the Chrysler 200.

Sounds like you’re the winner, my friend

“It’s not a cold sore if it’s on your anus.”

Kid Rock is approximately as relevant as Clint Eastwood’s chair.

Kind of fitting though that the worst game of the season was called by Berman and Dilfer

Imagine knowing that there were children being enslaved out there and being like, “You know what, I shouldn’t talk about this to all these reporters, it might distract them from their rightful focus on Matt Hasselbeck.”

The dead money thing makes sense. They’ve had a dead owner for a while now.

“I agree with Trent’s position on this and I spent the better part of 40 years not letting something as horrible as child rape interfere with my responsibilities to my football team.”

Guys, child slavery is really bad and I could’ve done more to fight against it, but I decided to focus on staying quiet because football.

I misread the title. I removed the i from ruin. I was severely disappointed

From the title, I was really hoping this was a story about a band destroying a town in Florida.

I think you’ve got a phenomenal first paragraph to your book right there.

Trapped

Infinite sadness