I couldn’t pay attention to the pitching lesson because I was too busy jamming out to the absolutely invigorating music.

God damn you savage!!

Does anyone at Deadspin HQ actively say “Roll Tide” as a response to a yes/no question?

$5,000,000 at stake. Take your pick:

Because I’m a gentleman, I’ll give you a mulligan for this one.

I’m not proud of this, but there it is.

That ball from Suarez cut right through the other team. He really is on the bicuspid of greatness.

Your sports talk radio show is Sleazy and Bunkum on 640, The Sports Regurgitation.

This bear looks like a Braves fan.

Strangest looking bears I’ve ever seen Patrick. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

I’ll be 100% honest with you, I didn’t read a word of this article.

The name on the album cover appears to say “Cox Danzervsc” but I could be wrong.

I used to “practice” with a couch cunt.

She’s gotta hit him where it hurts: In the (money) sack.

UPDATE: Prince Fielder has requested to eat the *herniated disk once it is removed.

Don’t mind me. Just trying to get out of the greys over here... Sheezus.

Because we’re gonna build that wall so we can fuck our cousins in peace and not worry about some godless native heathens, high on peyote, running in and trying to diddle our ballsacks and take our jobs! THAT’S WHY.

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.