Aren’t we all...

My least favorite “oh shittttt!” move that the supporting players/players on the bench do when something SICK, YO! happens, is when they stick their arms out at everyone’s waist and try to hold them back. Why do people do that? That’s a grown man’s elbow, way to close to a grown man’s dunking stick, if you ask me.…

So focused...

Hi, I drive an‘88 Datsun with a bumper sticker that says “Pussy Magnet”. The sticker’s been working — and I mean WORKING. My problem is, these girls are ruining my vinyl seats. I had to replace the carpet floorboard with rubber last year, but the sweat and juices have eaten right through that. My question is, do I go…

“FUCK.”

You want to fuck Derek, you gotta fuck his squad. Slap her on the ass and send her in. This is her moment...

backbackbackbackbackbackback—- gone!

Well if the coach doesn’t matter then why do we even have one? We don’t need tactis! Just get out there and be good — oh wait, you can’t because you’re not England, and you can’t be as good as the worst player on England’s squad. FACT. Because I said it is.

*and then* denying that he did any of those things.

WE HAVE FABRICATED TUBE SLIME THAT WITH THE PROPER DYES, MANIPULATION, & PRESERVATIVES RESEMBLES MEAT, TO THE UNTRAINED EYE! QUE THE TUBAS!

Psh, sounds like he’s got a strong Abdullah Longforgottem to me.

+1 Eastern European supermodel wife.

or IN their back doe.

Now that is unleashing a ball.

“Ben what the fuck is your problem? That’s dangerous son! Stay off the motorcycles without a helmet, please. Now, go down to Georgia and spend some time relaxing. Have some fun. Go to a bar with police officers from Pittsburgh. Hell - rape a chick in the bathroom! I don’t give a shit. Just don’t ride motorcycles…

Who’s giving the assistant coaches directions to Matt Barnes’ location once he went in the tunnel? They went left - he went straight. If only there was someone to say, “No! Don’t go that way!”

Roll Tide.

Bieber at 155? Yea — in his bra!

Are you sure he’s not saying “collards”? Because that would mean something totally different.

How do you go from building custom motorcycles, to being a coach on the Yankees? This guy has done it all!!