Keith couldn’t pay his gambling debts, so Mickey Two Suits ordered Gus and His Mate Mark to saw the arm off while Fat Paul held him down...and now Crazy Linda wears Keith’s ulna in her hair ala Pebbles from The Flintstones

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Olsen Twins died a decade ago. I suspect their management team wasn’t happy with the terms of the will, so they’ve been Weekend-at-Bernie’s-ing MK+A’s corpses for the public in order to continue raking in the cash (THIS is why the girls wouldn’t appear on Fuller House!)

*the little butt taps at the end!*

I felt SO subversive reading The Roald Dahl Omnibus in sixth grade...I loved his dark humor, and the last three stories in the collection (“The Great Switcheroo,” “The Last Act,” and “Bitch”) were the most explicitly sexual things I’d read at that point in my life. Around that time I also stumbled upon Shel…

and the kids are cool, too!

But we all know Sasha and Malia would SO win the Hunger Games, right?

I want Sasha to be a rockstar or performance artist or some other kind of badass. Her expressions are amazing.

James Corden’s comedy w/Estie Kung was MUCH more effective:

imagine adele doing a cover of burn or satisfied! or, maybe even better, guest-starring as Peggy/Maria Reynolds for a night...

I like their songs, too. And I like picturing this in my head: http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/1-g…

Adele forever. I alternate between the Hamilton album/Adele’s Carpool Karaoke when I’m getting ready for work in the morning. She is adorable and #CLASSYAF...100x better than Tswift, for sure.

Sturdy Barbie!

He has newborn TWINS as of last night watching Grease Live:

He was so good in Spotlight....would bang rumpled-workaholic-noble-journalist Ruffalo any time, anywhere (if he was too stressed and tired for sex but just wanted to cuddle and have a deep conversation, I’d be there for him as well).

You Can Count on Me is excellent. Have Laura Linney and Mark Ruffalo acted together since then? Nothing springs to mind, but I’d definitely love to see them in some Oscar-bait indie drama again — they’ve only gotten better with age.