Hahahahah, the fact that you’re assuming I’ve vaccuumed is delightful. Also, this earring is huge, it’s even more impressive than you’re imagining that I’ve managed to lose the damn thing!

OMFG, for real! I hooked up with my neighbour a couple of weeks ago (look at your life, look at your choices), and managed to lose my goddamn earring in my own fucking bed. Still haven’t found it.

God, I love them—I’m wearing 31 Rue Cambon right now (picked it up on a trip to Paris, as well as way too many other perfumes. I have a problem.)

Wouldn’t it be nice if he’d gone with “die” instead of thinking he could manage “funny”.

Oh man. It’s kind of lucky they don’t have this in smaller sizes, or I would be out $165, and I do not have $165.

Even when a pregnancy goes completely according to plan, it causes permanent and serious physical changes, and it’s not like a person just gets to walk around living normally for those 40 weeks. Pregnancy is serious shit that no one has the right to impose on anybody.

Oh my god! One of the last times I walked my neighbour’s dog, it started to rain, so I brought him into my apartment to get toweled off. I took out an old towel and started scrubbing him down, at which point he got super excited and started digging at it—he came right through the middle of it and then ran around my…

This is exactly what I wanted to express. It’s incredible to watch somebody claim that they’re defending women’s autonomy and self-determination while completely ignoring a whole bunch of women saying “but that’s not how this is for me”.

Declaring that something is an absolute, immutable part of a person’s personality, and brooking no disagreement, is not respecting their agency. I can be influenced by my culture and still have agency. Something’s being 100% part of my genetics does not give me more agency—if anything, it’s even more deterministic.

Ooh, having read about it, I think it might be a horror film I could actually watch—those are few and far between.

Amazing. Now I’ll do what I always do with scary movies—read the wikipedia article and then decide I’m way too much of a coward to actually watch it.

What in the name of crap is that??

Turns out I became unlovable two months ago, which, incidentally, was also two months after my partner dumped me. He saw it coming!

YES. That liner is my jam, and I do cat eye every day.

My friends and I did this in response to the Montreal police telling women that they just shouldn't take cabs if they were alone, out late at night, or drunk.

Was that a Stephen Fry cameo? Or did that dude just look like Stephen Fry? I'm so confused...

Pfft, whatever hor. You just had to privilege not sleeping with assholes over your number, and so now we all get to judge you. Some of us had the decency to sleep with earless sociopaths to make sure we stayed on the right side of the line.

You could have gone with the man with no arms and a missing toe and you wouldn't be in this position, you shameless hussy!

You hor!

OMG, think of the children! The poor, contracepted and non-existent children! You selfish hooooorrrsss!