Pardon me, but my understanding is that mid-Atlantic NFL teams are not allowed to retool their offenses when their starting quarterbacks get injured.

Tom Coughlin is a penis.

Speaking as an electric utility employee: you do not want transformers blowing up regularly.

Looks like somebody posted this under #WhiteGenocideOnKinja on Gab.

What needs to be solved here?

And he should have to go in with the Emanski cap.

He’s taking the “never punt” strategy to its logical endpoint.

I’m sure he would’ve filled out his W-2 correctly when he started his job at Oklaho—

“Sorry, Professor Coach. My medication makes it look like I’m asleep or staring at my phone sometimes.”

Most worthwhile learning experience since David Brooks taught a class on humility and included himself on the syllabus.

This country is in such a strange place when it comes to religion. ... It’s not a social club, and it’s not just a set of hollow rituals.

I once attended a Catholic wedding, held at the behest of the bride’s grandmother, for a couple so gender-forward that the husband took the wife’s name. The priest spent a decent chunk of his homily talking about how a wife demonstrates her love for her husband by keeping a beautiful home.

Where have you gone, John Tesh? A nation turns its lonely ears to you.

Possible that the #Content Era is the single worst period of human history.

He’s smart enough to know that he’d never get away with doing blackface on TV. But blackforehead?

He never said he graduated.

It certainly doesn’t serve fans of small-budget teams, because if the Red Sox step back, that just opens things up for the Dodgers or Yankees or Nationals or some other team with a $200 million payroll.

Every time I drop dimes they arrest me for embezzlement. It’s some bullshit.

Seems like too much of a coincidence how close this supposed name is to that of the Baby Ruth candy bar. Like, would anyone believe there was an old-timey football player named Milk Way? Obviously not.