You can tell Hamels doesn’t respect the Brewers because he didn’t plunk them to welcome them to the big leagues.

Not nice.

And a guy who didn’t even start for them!

Don’t worry, as long as Mitch Trubisky turns out to be Russell Wilson they’ll be fine.

And the decency to just fucking die already.

Tums

Trump likes them, too.

No, and also by the time they got themselves offside it wasn’t a free kick anymore. But none of the offside guys were involved in the play, so it’s a good no-call.

Cancel the rest of the auditions, we’ve found McGahn’s replacement as White House counsel.

That position has already been filled by Rex Ryan.

Should’ve at least been 2.0b1 while in development.

Umpires also hate it.

When it snows they enter the white zone, which is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.

They are currently scouring Bader’s old tweets hoping to find some really spicy takes about Black Lives Matter.

These are fans who know how to appreciate an 0-4 playoff run.

That Bader hustle caused a lot of spontaneous ejaculations in St. Louis County.

They’ll fill the seat as quickly as they can, but they don’t need to fill it to confirm Kavanaugh. And when they do fill it, it will stay filled by the replacement until the 2020 general election instead of the 2018 election, because McCain chose to remain in office even though he wasn’t able to do the job anymore.

The streak is a game streak. He didn’t lead off the game with a homer; therefore, his streak of leading of games with a homer was snapped. There’s nothing about such a streak that is dependent on plate appearances being counted as at-bats. Would it be correct to say that no one led off the game for Atlanta because it…

Ronald Acuña Jr., who at the time had hit three consecutive lead-off dingers. (The HBP didn’t technically snap Acuña’s streak, although he didn’t hit a lead-off HR the next day.)

“Was it a stupid thing to do? Sure. But should he have to do literally nothing at all by allowing the team to put out an anodyne statement explaining why everything is cool? Ah, wait, let me come in again.”