Sorry, no. Denim skirts are forever and always Dork Level Hopeless.

Yeah, I’ve got one like this:

I’m all for sloth. Sloths are cool and relaxed and people love them.

My husband will not use an umbrella for any reason. He’s got a collection of hoodies and fusses like a  spinster aunt over how far the overhang of the hood is to keep his glasses dry, but an umbrella is apparently an emasculation device.

Just about every straight man I’ve ever met has some weird “masculine” quirk like this. Like, they’ll be the most perfect partner/parent ever but absolutely refuse to, say, wear a pink button down shirt. A pink polo shirt is fine, but not button down. 

Seriously???? I honestly classed that kind of petty spite as stereotypically “female” because all women are in a race to get married first, doncha know.

Don Jr. has a little more natural pizzaz on that front

I think one of the many, many reasons this has been allowed to continue so long is that Britney’s “brand”—developed for her and foisted upon her when she was a teenager—is that of a shiny, happy child. Her sexuality was our society’s degrading version of Lolita—an underaged female person being layered and lacquered…

When his mom asks if he’s crying:

“Hellooooo....wait, where are you going?”

Sadly, people who can do things like this sleep just fine. If they had even a smidgen of moral compass they wouldn’t be doing it.

Seriously. Twitter made everyone an expert in everyone else’s relationships.

He was terrific as Sobel—a loathsome worm who also knows he’s in over his head and is terrified, and whose only skill is uniting his trainees in their detestation of him.

Seriously, when will that fuck die?

“We’ll look into it” must be the Handle The Idiot version of when your mom said “we’ll see” when you asked if you could have a pony or a swimming pool.

. We’ve put up with all this laborious security theater for almost 20 years, the least we should do is bar people who have actually been proven to disrupt flights from going on more of them.

Especially since Betty was a fat child whose mother poked her with sharpened pencils. They did a lot with that role.

For all the talk of “naturally” transforming, everybody knows that putting on a great deal of weight is one thing, and taking it off again is another. Even with trainer and dietician armies, it’s rough, it’s easier to gain weight again, and as a person gets older and experiences metabolism change it can become…

Yep. About 94% of people were fine, or perhaps a bit flat or curt, but not outright rude. It’s that other 6% that completely ruin your day.