Tracy is a hero who was taken advantage of by one teacher and trashed by another. Two grown men who blame her for their own failings. Of COURSE she’s a control freak! She has to get out of this town!

I wish the show would remember that Charles and Chic are Secret Lovahs. Chic never struck me as the particularly patient type, there can only be so much lag before he starts bitching. Maybe he can team up with Evelyn and they can run around yelling colors and shapes and triggering everybody.

I think he was playing on the beyond-tired stereotype of, as he called her, an underage party girl. Which, A) he apparently went to HerVard University because the Ivy League I’ve read about has the hardest partiers out there, and B) since the recruiter didn’t seem to care about being surrounded by teen drinkers and…

At this point Toni might as well be replaced by a Real Doll with a recording saying “are you sure, babe?” that plays when you pull the string. I mean, maybe the writers will remember she clonked Uncle Evil on the head at some point but? Ever since the fans went nuts when she and Jug made out a million years ago the…

I think that’s why the amount is so insultingly low--bankruptcy interferes with who is allowed to pay out the company’s remaining assets?

Man, he’ll do anything that’s insulting to the intelligence to stay out of prison, won’t he?

Love how he criticizes Time with honoring an environmental activist right after he murdered an endangered animal. Full Dump Bingo.

Tragically, it did not turn into a Punky Brewster Very Special Episode.

The mom was the last one to notice.

Yep. It’s like thinking all dogs are harmless because your nice neighbor’s dog is harmless. 

Her decision to trap her mother in the sex bunker all but guarantees that we haven’t seen the last of the malevolent matriarch, which is fine, seeing as the moment’s going to be all about Cheryl Blossom’s grief in specific.

At this point who is or isn’t anybody’s parent? When FP and Archie were sharing pie after fun night of fighting, I was all well, I guess it does take a village. Of the Damned.

Wow. If Epstein were a character in a sleazy novel, he’d be considered too on the nose and hitting too many rapist Bingo points.

Hang on...

Testing, testing...is this new account working?

I just have to figure out how to set up a burner...*tinkering sounds, explosion*

I don’t get what I could have possibly done! But yes, I agree, I must surrender to the flames. I’ll let you know as soon as I get it set up!

Stacy Schiff is an AMAZING writer. The Witches totally opened my eyes as to how the Salem Witch Trials took hold and the madness spread.

*scoops you into arms*

Oh my GOD, I have a huge crush on John and am green right now!