And not just once so they can post about it. Over and over and over. On a Tuesday when the kids are screaming. On a Saturday even when a game is on. On a Wednesday even though they “just” left early LAST month to run by the store because they’re making dinner.

I honestly don’t get it. It’s like the Devil having an off day in a Sylvia cartoon.

I feel ya, baby. *slouches next to Vinnie on couch*

Let’s visualize whirled peas.

Now let’s watch the homeless fight over the scraps! HA HA!

I don’t get eating cold pasta. Pasta is supposed to be hot.

Well, he’s a con artist. Successful con artists pull off outrageous shit all the time and for some reason it’s not until later that people go “You let him do WHAT again?”

He could literally fuck evangelicals on a stage and his supporters/worshipers wouldn’t budge an inch.

Let’s reset the “X Minutes Since Humanity Betrayed Itself On Every Level” board and try for 8:30 tomorrow!

I am so glad this poor animal wasn’t sold to an unscrupulous breeder or the kind of asshole who doesn’t ask “why does my puppy have a microchip already?”

It’s the devil I know and love.

But...I could just eat doughnuts.

Who shared bedrooms without one argument or quarrel.

How else is he going to be INTERNET FAMOUS? 

If Biden manages to provoke Dump into something truly self-incriminating--like, even the GOP Senate has to vote impeachment--during his campaign, he’ll have made up for a lot.

Oh, make it a birthday he’ll really remember!

President Donald Trump responded to the attack by saying, “Hard to believe. Hard to believe.”

I’m moving in!

I’m so glad you’re okay! We didn’t hear about it until we got home from work.

Definitely talk to your doctor! Your meds need adjusting posthaste.