Yes, especially since an autopsy would easily prove that the guy was on not only drugs, but contaminated drugs. But this is a storyline that hinges on Archie LEAVING THE DRUGS IN HIS LOCKER instead of flushing them, so tah-dah!

Hal the Serial Killer and His Hood of Many Colors

That does seem like the kind of reasoning only a Riverdale character would find smart.

Whoops, forgot her! Of course she’s A) Attorney McCoy these days and B) has vanished from the set, her new husband’s life, and Riverdale like the mist at sunrise, so.

I guess Alice will move back in, hook back up with HP after Edgar dumps her for Polly, and they can all paint over the fire damage together.

“Whom I haven’t spoken to in weeks but yeah, besties.”

SOMEBODY in this hellhole needs a parent who is not clinically insane.

I think Josie’s goal at this point is simply to escape alive.

The only Black characters left are Pops and Principal Weatherbee; so, a guy who literally never leaves the restaurant and a cult member/abdicator of his job, respectively.

“Stick your hand in my teeth! Take that!”

You liked this one more than I did, honestly: I mean, I know I’m not watching 24 here, but why is everybody else’s stories taking about four days while the Jones’s takes one night? Space is warped and time is bendable!

Seriously, that woman never learns.

She’s the one picking her bleached teeth with the bones of dead immigrant children.

Awww, Jinni, thanks for the ungreys! You’re the best!

Hell, my husband tucks his tee shirts in and wears a belt. On the other hand, he does insist I go along when he has to shop. Hmmmm.

It’s cold and lonely here.

My husband and I mowed down ham sandwiches and Tim’s potato chips while watching Babylon 5 DVDs last night, where’s my parade?

Again, I wonder why the IRS isn’t sounding off on this garbage fire. A big part of the scam was funneling the payments through a fake charity, which means these bribes were tax-deductible.

It’s like...God, we’re old.