Same reasons the rest of us do; love, wanting companionship, wanting to raise kids with another parent.

That’s honestly the most depressing part, if this was only one bad apple and not a work culture of “perks include not putting mileage on your own car!”

But she’s so buzzy trying to entertain you!

Yep: https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/oprah-hid-money-room-hotel-stay-article-1.3858913

Challenging death and hoping he won’t be bored enough to scythe you?

Rubs against this tweet’s ankles like a cat

I’ve avoided going for snacks at the market for 38 days now. It really does help you focus and think about what you’re using in your life to avoid painful thoughts.

Basically, it’s the Fish on Friday rule. You abstain from animal flesh, etc. (Apparently fish/seafood weren’t animals back when these rules were formulated.)

Bob!Johnson!

*eyes phone, knowing I will be arrested, but...*

Just don’t, for God’s sake, pull that Oprah where you hide money all over the room so the housekeeping staff can play Easter Egg Hunt for your amusement. The first thing I’d think is that I’m being filmed secretly and will be fired/arrested if I keep any of the money.

I’ve heard tell of this magical invention called “headphones”, but surely they are myth!

Reading is for commies!

Most of the long straps I’ve seen can be adjusted for length, so I don’t see why not.

Yep. Or pretend to bring a knee up; when he bends over to protect his groin, poke his eyeballs.

Noooope.

Let’s throw a gif party and cheer Sarah up!

A Sphinx-ian riddle, it is.

Yes. If your religious beliefs require it you can arrange the day/week off for the most part, but usually it’s not paid time off. And it’s not a government holiday.

I mean, I get that there’s plenty of families out there where getting the hell away from them is the best mental health option, and that plenty of people confuse “living with a parent” and “never doing one damn thing to establish an independent identity or financial nest egg.”