This story makes no sense for so many different reasons, but for the record, I’m totally cool with peeing nearly anywhere. I personally pee in my bathroom’s second sink. Every time. Wake up in the middle of the night with a boner: pee in the sink. Easier to aim, obviously. Wake up in the middle of the night without a…

Just forwarded these links to my boss as a suggestion for our annual holiday charitable contribution. Fellow Jezzies - don’t forget that your workplace might be looking for somewhere to donate money to in the holiday season.

Call me crazy but I’m thinking it’s going to end up with a wild card berth and a boring as fuck playoffs loss that leaves us questioning both Andy Reid’s coaching and Alex Smith’s competence.

I think we need to ease up on the poor thing. She’s trying.

Why are you assuming any of these people have any morals?

As far as I’m concerned:

It’s time to reach out to the back-up quarterbacks, Beef Binkles and Blart Boofles. If that fails we’re going to the practice squad to get Burp Bangles some reps.

For people opposed to the “nanny state” they sure are keen on government interference in people’s lives.

Mike Pence is a piece of shit. One of the worst politicians I’ve seen in my time in Indiana and that, quite frankly, is saying something.

The most useful aspect of Jordan Rodgers’s appearance on The Bachelor was the revelation that he apparently has no relationship with his brother, NFL star Aaron.

She sounds like the type of person who invites people over for dinner and then tries to get them to invest in a ponzi scheme.

Yea I hesitate to try and parse the words of the RZA (I’m not worthy) but I think he was just trying to point out the irony of a new wave of young investors (who are probably mostly white, ffs NICK LACHEY tried to corner the weed market in his home state) making millions off an industry “we built” as in, our culture…

When my longing for a deeper sense of human connection and humanity becomes almost too much to bear, I barricade myself in a Starbucks and consume each and every Unity Cup I can before the police can take me away. Thousands and thousands of faces connected by one single line are slowly digesting in my engorged…

Wow! Why is the press not covering this!

Damn, that man is cold!

Oops...looks like Trump might not give him a pardon after all.

Jeez, even Soccer’s sex scandals are boring.

I think I found the UC’s response:

I hate Trump, and will be voting for Hillary, but I’m not sure why she gets a free pass on this site. She’s the lesser of two evils, but isn’t what I’d consider an appealing candidate. She could have nipped this all in the bud if she wanted to, and released those emails, but didn’t. Instead she acted like any…