Oh I bet he’s already aware of this item. Not many people know this, but David has a Cerebro-like device in his garage that enhances his brainwaves and allows him to telepathically detect the presence of old Jeeps anywhere on the planet in real time.

The Bentley one is just brilliant.

The comments here are kind of harsh. We were all dumb rich kids once. Who among us hasn’t totaled two exotics worth half a million dollars, fled the scene of the accident, left our passport behind in the wreckage, and had the entire incident captured on two different videos only to have them both uploaded to…

I...I can’t tell which parts of this article are sarcasm and which are literal.

But then again I’d probably be into the Canyonero for real if it was actually on the market.

You liked it at first, didn’t like it for a while, and now you like it again. An especially clever person might say that you did a.... 360. Not me though, because I’m not especially clever.

You build yourself a redneck air conditioner.

Pew. Pew pew.

It’s still in the development phase but we firmly believe it will be a long BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...P, as this is typically the most effective method for inducing the higher levels of rage to which New Yorkers have become accustomed.

According to sources, the robotic cars have been specifically programmed to respond to “HEY! I’M WALKING HERE!! I’M WALKING HERE!!” and “MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR ASSHOLE!!”, at which time it will honk its horn repeatedly until it is once again safe to proceed.

Diaz later added, “it’s truly impressive, the batteries, they just keep going and going and going...”

Now you tell me. By the way, you’re running low on toilet paper.

Certainly I am strong enough to cry openly while standing at a cliff facing the oceans while whales breach before me, the both of us cognizant of the fleeting nature of life, that we may both be extinct before we are ready to say so to those around us.

I would like to gift you with a Rolls Royce which this lovely chauffeuse Melania Trump will deliver

I kind of want to pull up to a Buffalo Bills tailgate party with this thing just for shits.

It did have a cool tv commercial, though, if I recall. Something about it devouring another car at a stoplight.

Just like that barbwire tattoo that grandma got back in the 90's, it only gets better with age.

Jolly Ranchers

Suck them down to the thinnest sliver, then stand the remaining shard vertically between your molars and slowly bite down to bend them into more texturally complex curves. The mark of a pro-level Jolly Rancher connoisseur is the ability to bend this shard until both ends touch.

Yes, for the U.S. Senate.

Not to be confused with the other type of hands-free donuts.