Porsche Boxster 986...or is it 689? Hmm.

...the automaker accused the investigators of being “more concerned with press headlines than actually promoting safety.”

That’s far too reasonable. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you need to toss a passenger out the window every so often or you’ll never be respected.

This can easily be explained by the golden ratio.

I have so many questions. Why don’t more cars come with suicide doors? Why is it sitting under tanning bed lamps?

They all laughed when I said I was going to start a Nauga ranch in the 2000's. Well who’s laughing now bitches? Time to get rich!

I wonder if there’s an alternate universe where BMW owners use their turn signals.

DREOTI?

I’ll be there for you, unfarted. Because you’re there for me too.

You know it’s true. How nice. Look at this. [points to a 90's crapcan.] It’s worthless. Ten dollars from a vendor in the street. But I take it, I bury it in the sand for a thousand years, it becomes priceless. Men will kill for it. Men like you and me.

The video was def bad. But what about the racer? It’s like he was stuck in second gear.

It took me reading that three times, but I got it! Have a star.

It was (obviously?) an attempt at humor.

That’s what she said!

No, actually I don’t use my cell phone in the car. And before you ask, I use my turn signals, inflate my tires to the correct pressure, obey traffic lights, and always yield to squirrels.

And what puts people in retirement homes?

Isn’t that what retirement communities are for? As for myself, I don’t plan on living anywhere near that long, but I do get your point. The technology could be incredibly useful.

It’s just not something that I would risk my life to make happen. The problem is this guy isn’t just risking his own life, which I have no…

Walking on the moon > being driven around by your car.

What kind of mattress do they own? Follow this up, Alanis!

Took long enough. They obviously weren’t russian.