Any self-respecting Texas redneck should be fully capable of holding his own beer and doing that.

Tesla Hertz?

I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

Wouldn’t you catch more flies with honey? Or have I been lied to all this time?

Shah-wenge ack-sected.

The Rita evacuation was the longest I’ve ever spent behind the wheel of a vehicle continuously - 24 hours in total. Lesson learned. If you’re going to evacuate, do it AT LEAST 48 hours ahead or not at all.

This assumes that the kidnappers intend to do you harm. Maybe they’re driving you to a surprise party? You’d feel pretty stupid if you bailed on that, wouldn’t ya!?

Why not both? :D

It’s Houston. Nobody walks anywhere.

“Bro what’s that gunk on your tire?”

Did Angelo attach a camera to his head?

God help us all if this gets cross-posted to Jezebel.

1965 Chrysler 300. It’s as big as a whale and seats about twenty.

I’m ashamed to say it took me entirely too long to get this.

Eh, the earlier ones were funnier. I think they’ve finally jumped the Mahk with these skits.

Actually, I’m a dummy. The “brake tag” is the inspection sticker that goes on the windshield. I’m not sure why we call it that since they don’t just test the brakes. I guess it’s an old term that never went away.

I like the idea of having your insurance expiration date displayed on the license plate. Wish they did that here. I might pass that on to the governor next time I see him.