Also the teen boy in the story is wearing a suave button down shirt, a tie, slacks, and matching belt/shoes. I don't know many 30 somethings who dress that well.

That is some fancy high-schoolin'.

I feel inadequate.

Oooh I have another really good idea for a cop/prom prank for a police officer!!!

1) Go undercover and infiltrate a high school as a student

It's indeed not giffing, thought it was a problem on my end but still recognized the frame and appreciated the reference!

Kind of off-topic, but for anyone who hasn't heard about this: Tupac's last words were released in 2014 (by the cop who was with him during his last moments of consciousness) and Tupac's dying statement is gold.

Like 5% of the American population takes prescription sleep meds with Ambien (zolpidem) being the most popular by far. About 50 million prescriptions filled annually, last I checked.

So ~1 in 20 adults are on Ambien. Or 1 in 3 ebay shoppers.

If your homework assignment is 'leave mean or nonsensical comments on Facebook at 3am', you might be in luck!

I enrolled myself in some college courses once.

Ambien tries to make me more responsible. Ambien cares about my future.

Shit, WebMD even includes "Confusion" and "Mental Disorder with Loss of Normal Personality & Reality" on their list of side effects for phentermine. It's the very first google result. I don't think they even bothered to read the whole webpage before citing The Almighty WebMD.

I want to know what they're on if they…

"But she gave them krazy straws to drink that juice! Krazy straws. Think about it." - the defense

Urgh, sorry for all the typos. I'm typing/posting from a banana.

Technically wearing a "gender neutral" one. I'm really tall so the female vest option was too short on me as well as not being noticeably more comfortable, but it prob works OK for women of smaller stature with average-ish sized busts. I liken the feeling of my vest to that of wearing 2 layers of tight, uniboob-style…

there were probably other ways to deal with the situation

No, there is talk of getting those vests in 2015 but for now my boobs are squished down and out towards my armpits.

It's very attractive!

I had to get my arms in shape this summer for a fitness test and heard a lot of "do pushups!". Motherfuckers if I could do A SINGLE pushup I probably wouldn't be in this predicament. In the event that you are like me and starting out with the upper body strength of a kitten with the added complication of big knockers…

I'd have been tempted to ask for the change from that $100 bill I never gave them.

Several times.

Wouldn't keep the money, of course. Just want to see how much they would willingly give me.

Gonna need to see all of your alibis for March 5th and 6th, Team Cat. All of them. And they'd better check out.

It sounds like the dog was showing signs of being very ill but died before they made it to the vet, and the vet found pellets of something that looked like either rat or slug poison sewn up into the meat chunks. Read that in another news article, which (if true) would lend more credence to the theory.

At first I was…

As opposed to accidentally poisoned, like dogs who get into someone's secret chocolate-covered macadamia nut stash or gnaw open a bottle of ibuprofen left on the counter. Happens quite often and if you don't catch it in time or get them to the vet ASAP, they die.

LOOKING AT YOU, DOGS THAT LIVE IN MY HOUSE WHO SEEM TO…

Too far, Team Cat. Too far.

Texted your suggestion to my partner, the response was "Chica I think we need to get you in for an MMPI".

I'm really excited because I'm pretty sure MMPI is code for Cloning Machine!!! The ball is rolling on Gnomi cop clones!