Up high,

Oooh that's tough. I want to say Kristen Stewart, because she would be great at playing an inanimate object, staring without blinking and not changing her expression for an entire movie.

On the other hand, Danny Devito is small and round and would totally nail the look. Plus he's a good actor, he'd be able to convince…

Haven't thought about that dude in about a decade, just googled him to see what he's looking like these days and well...

Thought she was looking at the sunglasses. As in- "He asked to try those on real quick but it's been like an hour. I kind of want my sunglasses back now. But I really don't want to talk to him. Ugh, this sucks. I should have gone to Aruba with Brendan Fraser."

Only four models but look at how into him they all are.

I don't know, because if that's all it takes you could just roll in there and ask for a Liam born on January 1st. They'd probably hand you, like, seven babies.

The one thing that all children desire. CDs with over 50,000 hours of AOL, free for 45 days.

THANK YOU! I got to a military hospital (that is also a teaching hospital, wheeee!) and the doctors rotate out every couple months. Every time I go in I have some strange new doctor and I'm so used to their batshit responses that it doesn't even register as being not okay anymore.

Appreciate the reality check because…

Found an article in Fitness Magazine (so you know it's legit) and will follow their 10 All-Natural Ways To Stay Young. They were not vagina specific tips but it's probably the same basic principles as keeping your overall body youthful so I'll try applying them to my genits.

I've waved crystals in the general direction of my vagina to no avail. Will definitely try injecting some colloidal silver directly into my clitoris later today. Feeling really optimistic about this, thanks!

Oh my god I never thought to check whether or not my vagina was made out of gluten or consuming too much gluten.

That's why I've had a mysterious ringing sound in my ears for the last 14 or so years! GODDAMNED GLUTEN!

Yeah yeah beep boop every taxi company will have issues because crazies can infiltrate any business, we can't expect perfection blah blah.

I want to make that into a flair button and pin it to my suspenders.

***FOR ONLY $1 EXTRA***
*I WON'T ASSAULT YOU!*
**ask me about how you can open an Uber Visa Card today**

You're a real class act. A gem. Can't imagine why those flight attendants didn't want to expend their effort to do you any favors.

Serious question because I am feeling like a jerk right now- I accused divingmissm of "throwing a fit" and am wondering if "throwing a fit" or "having a fit" (when describing a person who has displayed a petulant childish outburst) is also offensive to people with seizure disorders?

I mean, obviously "spaz" is a…

Rats, I def heard this same tale at some point in the last 5 years (between listening to an Airframe book on tape then falling down a rabbit hole of NTSB/FAA rules and regs based off similar incidents and having a new kid I needed to fly with) but now I can't remember what was fiction, what was predicted to happen and…

That is fucked (on the airline/flight attendant's part). Glad you didn't back down, quoted the FAA regs back at them and managed to maintain your composure and stay calm/polite. I prob would have snapped.

Bro- do you see all these people responding to you and saying you were in the wrong here? Are you maybe sensing that this incident reflects more poorly on you than on the flight attendants or airline?

So one FA told you that you could put it on the seat and one FA told you to put it in the overhead bin, then you threw a fit because there were two official opinions on which you have no training or knowledge but obviously the one who said to put it on the seat HAS to be the correct one in this scenario because that's…