Right? If he had followed up with his chat on having at least 7 sexings with the line "Of course we were both fully clothed during all fornication, as is the custom of good Christians" I wouldn't have been shocked. He's doing it wrong. You just know it.

Also, I almost made a "pics or it didn't happen" joke, but just…

Phew, for a second I was worried my first post came across as me legit promoting that hoodie.

Agree with everything else you said. Well, other than not being bothered by military shirts or patches, that still irks me. Air Force pilots should probably not wear t-shirts featuring grinning cartoon missiles giving the…

I know and agree. To be clear, I was making fun of that shirt (hence my use of "tone deaf"). Co-opting that particular phrase and changing it from Black lives to Blue lives (of all things, BLUE!) is really, really offensive. On the same level as "Breathe Easy".

Yes. They fly around the country on patriotic wings of American justice, serving and protecting and stopping crime, from sea to shining sea amen.

How about a fetal pig? I mean, they are sold on Amazon so it's gotta be legal. Get it? A pig.

(sorry, just found out about these the other day and need to spread the word)

Might get chilly wearing just a t-shirt. May I suggest this hoodie to wear over top of it? You really want to drive the point home with as many tone-deaf layers as possible.

Same. I am a freak of nature and still have one baby tooth (a canine), the dentist says it will probably fall out around the time I'm 40 years old.

There had better be a goddamned Lexus SUV under my pillow the morning I wake up without that tooth. THE TOOTH FAIRY OWES ME.

Was it a Himalayan Salt Crystal Lamp thingie?? My crazy mother sent me like 5 of those last year with a batshit letter claiming that they purified the air of toxins and something about positive ions in the air cure cancer magic crystal blah blah blah. I plugged one in (because obv they don't do shit for health but…

Drugged- you can remember the whole damn day but you were drugged? Just sayin. Memory- you can remember you looked at (allegedly) eachother, people were starring allegedly remembering your home address allegedly the name you called him allegedly But you were allegedly drugged.

Outraged Americans- "Me is stupid? That's unpossible! Fox News tell NO."

That quote came from a girl who is wearing antlers. She's not even wearing a Santa costume, just some antlers. You're supposed to be dressed like Santa for Santacon, do you even know what you're drinking/con-ing for?!

Oh snap, he's doing this to try and become an actual police officer?! WTF. That felony will still show up on his background investigation obviously. So will his statements about being addicted to cocaine, using steroids and other drugs up until the age of 40, and that period in his life when he sold cocaine. Plus it's…

This is why I never do diet challenges with my partner, only fitness challenges. Like last August we started a 30 day regimen to double the amount of push-ups we could each do within a minute. At the end of the month it came time to test our results: he proudly dropped down and banged out 60 push-ups in a minute,…

Yessss. And on that note, Hot Shots had the best sexytime scene ever.

Gonna write an erotic novel about people gingerly dry-humping.

Doesn't get any hotter than that.

Maybe the points are really soft and flexible? Seems like if they weren't, it would have shredded her when it was being used. Dunno. BTW Did you edit your first post to say that thing about nuvarings having smooth edges or am I just a derp?

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I guess it is possible not to notice since people who use Nuvarings or tampons sometimes forget then have an "Oh shit I put that thing in like 6 weeks ago!" moment.

I don't use nuvarings or cock rings so there is no reason for anything at all to be up in there but now I'm gonna check. Just in case.

Update: So THAT'S…

Heh. Put that on some receipts.